Relationship Reform & The State of Our Unions

Perhaps I was inspired by the politicians racing for the white house and fueling their campaigns with more of the same promises still left unfulfilled by the their predecessors. Everyone has the answers to a better future but no one can deliver better results.

The same tactics, strategies, rules and laws are being recycled that were implemented hundreds of years ago, yet no one is suggesting scrapping the entire system and starting anew.

You’re probably wondering what politics have to do with relationships.

I have an answer, everything! We need reform in this country and not just on the political front but more so, on our state of affairs with each other. I hate to reiterate statistics but numbers simply don’t lie.

According to The CDC Center for Disease & Prevention, the divorce rate is riding between 45-50%.

The number should spark some examination but I think we tend to focus on the why instead of re-examining the validity of the institution of marriage itself as a whole.

Yes, I said it. I am questioning the institution of marriage. With a failure rate of 50% everyone should be questioning if marriage is the right choice for their future.

Most women look at marriage as a final destination, but what it if it is not your destination at all? It is not for 50% of the population who divorce never intending to remarry. This does not include those who live together, who are in committed relationships who chose not to get married or those who are single by choice and intend to stay that way.

What are some of the politics injected into our love lives?

Have you read the Book Think Like a Man, Act Like a Lady. The Perfect example of ridiculous rules written from a man on how women should act and feel! This is a bestseller; people are implementing these false ideologies into the dating scene. Furthermore, unrealistic expectations along with a lack of flexibility contribute to the problem.

Most of the expectations are manufactured from books, magazine articles, movies and society as whole. They are influencing you, but not authentically coming from you.

How do we unlearn these tactics disguised as love and put a halt to the mis-education? When shall we start to experience authentic love which is defined by the individual?

Nonetheless we have made love to be work.

I thought that we were supposed to rest in love, that it is a warm embrace after a long day of dealing with the politics of life, work and the daily grind. Yet now it has become one of them, so the question that remains is where do we run to now for that escape?

The answer, we remain single and uncommitted.

About 50.2 percent or 124.6 million American adults are single.

In 1950, a totally different era, that number was about 22 percent. Our lives are busier and complex but technology has made it very easy to connect. Despite the rise of online dating we are choosing the single life.

We are choosing not to participate in relationships at all.

Who needs the extra stress and complications? This is how we are rebelling subconsciously. We are rejecting the institutions that they have put on our hearts and our lack of participation in togetherness is evidence in itself. There is so much here untapped that needs to be explored from fresh perspectives not influenced by the poison of politics.

The challenge is, do we continue to elevate by transcending the way we think or do we continue to reiterate the status quo and stay stuck in perpetuating failure?

It’s a cliché’ saying but the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

We need new eyes!

Love is at the altar and it is being sacrificed by self-proclaimed love gurus profiting from books, claiming you have to do this, that, and the other to make him or her like you.

Love is only experienced in the present moment.

Every new moment is a reinvention of loves flowering. After all the heart is a wild beast untamed, beating to its own drum, defying all attempts to make it logical. Love is a far too personal and spiritual experience to be defined, even in the depth of psychology it still remains mysterious and unfathomable.

So how do we initiate reform within our own hearts?

It’s quite simple. We start with self-love. I will explore this more in my upcoming book. Needless to say, radical reform in relating, relationships, love and marriage needs to occur now! Journey with me and let’s discover fresh perspectives on love that are free from the politics of the past.





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