“I’ve seen women insist on cleaning everything in the house before they could sit down to write… and you know it’s a funny thing about housecleaning… it never comes to an end. Perfect way to stop a woman. A woman must be careful to not allow over-responsibility (or over-respectabilty) to steal her necessary creative rests, riffs, and raptures. She simply must put her foot down and say no to half of what she believes she “should” be doing. Art is not meant to be created in stolen moments only.” Clarissa Pinkola Estes’
For so long, I’ve ignored my artistic urges and suppressed my desire to write literature for the simple fact that my other “assigned” roles as a women took precedence over my creativity.
It wasn’t until recently, I discovered that art is not just a leisurely activity, it is actually work. Work that should be done and tirelessly pursued because I was really passionate about it.
The trouble was, I was busy being everything the world wanted me to be as a women. You know, I wore my mask so elegantly that my individually was drowned and damned near forgotten in the process.
I decided to indulge my creative side and make it part of my life’s work. Fuck washing dishes for now, I have to finish this blog. Priorities!
What was my “aha” moment that made me shift my priorities? What gave me the courage to un-assign roles that were never destined for me?
One eye opener was my unhappiness not expressing my creativity. That frustration stayed with me like a haunting and the only way to shake it was to indulge in it completely. The ideas never stop coming since I said yes to the urge to write. It’s as if I’ve stumbled upon a well that stays full no matter how much I fill the bucket. I’m convinced I’ve tapped into a gateway, the same place other artist dwell. I feel at home finally!
A very good friend of mines emailed me a quote from an article he read that stated “Art transforms consciousness.”
That is when art’s importance dawned on me, that is when I suddenly became thankful for every artist who indulged their creativity and wrote the books I needed to read to help me grow spiritually. So many authors, so many books, so many ways they have all shaped me.
I decided I needed to contribute, I want to assist in transforming consciousness. So here I am taking the plunge, writing out the very heart of me.
By Janell Hihi