Relationship Reform Chapter Sample “The P Word”

Two months ago, I started off the first article in my blog introducing the concept of my first non-fiction book that will be completed shortly “Relationship Reform & The State of Our Unions.” This book will blast generations of false and counterproductive relationship roles, rules, games and regulations.

We are embarking unto a newly evolved world and we can’t bring old tools to build new construction. Today I want to delve a little deeper into some of the topics in the book with a short synopsis on some of the most controversial and interesting chapters.

Deep down in the pits of our hearts, where heartbreaks roar like hungry lions… we know we have been lied to about the ways of love. We see the lies unraveling in the alarming statistics. Millions getting divorced and millions staying single.

I will complete one blog a week for the next 5 weeks to cover some of the chapter topics in my book that will surely shake up your entire relationship belief system. Get ready for a mind blowing, epiphany provoking experience.

My aim is to bring you back to basic human nature by undoing hundreds of years of the “conditioning” of our hearts. We have forgotten our true nature, and I want to recapture that in this book with a modern day, jaw dropping, evolved concepts of the new ways of Relating.”

Today I would like to briefly cover one of the most controversial chapters in my upcoming book… that frightening word society frowns upon: polygamy.

One of my most influential gurus, Osho inspired me to be more open about how I have always felt regarding polygamy. I held back for so long because by tradition it was so taboo to express any sentiments supporting polygamy.

Although I do not accept the total modern day definition of polygamy I agree with it to an extent with feminist reattributes meaning that I do believe it should be allowed and accepted by both sexes if both partners agree to the general concept.

Before you read any further, I am opening myself, my thoughts, theories and insights about love invented by myself and inspired by my favorite gurus. My writing is not definitive. I am seeking while I am writing and I invite you to open yourself and seek answers as you read. Love is the greatest experiment in life and any writer set on convincing you they know the formula of what love really is, they are essentially full of shit.

Furthermore, I don’t write for the status quo, I write for the evolving souls, I write for the world I want to come into existence for my daughter, a world of higher consciousness.

Why I somewhat favor polygamy? Personally, I have always felt resentful about giving anyone all of me. Often times I’d feel that I would rather only give a man or a romantic relationship about one third of me, all of me was too much. It was an unfair obligation. I have so many other things to do, so many more adventures to be added to my life separate from what an intimate relationship could ever give me. I am not discounting what a healthy and beautiful relationship can bring to my life, I am just stating it is not the be all end all for me

It could very well be, as I write this blog I am out of ideas and polygamy seems the only solution for me, but my gut is telling me otherwise. It is whispering constantly that what we have grown to learn about love is all false. Maybe the love I seek is the “real” organic love, a love that brings freedom, accepts individuality and just is… I feel real love as not being pretentious, but just being.

On the flip side it may be that I just haven’t found the right person who shares the same sentiments about relationships or I have found him and I have not presented the idea to him directly, just hypothetically.

Am I afraid of my own breakthrough? Maybe he will feel the same way… At some point I will have to start practicing what I preach.

Oh and did I mention, like many women who are very ambitious and passionate about multiple interest, I am a bit selfish, with my time, my heart and endeavors.

With my non-traditionalist views, the only possible solution to my problem was to enter a polygamous relationship. Which I have yet to do! A man with a few wives or perhaps maybe one…

Where I could share a third of myself with him, still have intimacy and companionship along with commitment and have the peace of mind of knowing there is another women catering to his needs while I keep the other three fourths of myself to satisfy my own creative whims.

This arrangement would actually work for me because unlike most people, relationships don’t seem to satisfy me… that much. They are and never will be the focal of my life. I admire people who make it theirs and I do not judge them for wanting to be in dedicated, loving relationships. I’ve tried to be that person and I never really felt whole, it was surreal. This could be possibly that I’ve been in relationships with incompatible people.

Perhaps polygamy is not just having multiple relationships and all parties knowing, maybe it is also having a life filled with multiple things that you love. That can be careers, hobbies, charities, by which all making an intimate relationship never a priority. However, the intensity of the love for that person is still there yet partially scattered.

The reality is people cheat? Is it just because they are assholes? Or is it part of our DNA. Our desire to be with multiple people? Is polygamy natural? Is monogamy a fairytale? Is this why the state of our unions is in shambles? Are we in denial of our true nature?

I do believe that polygamy means something different for men and women.Here is what one of my prized spiritual gurus have to say about polygamy and human nature. I agree with most of this however with my own uniquely added twist.

The Woman Can Be Satisfied with One Love

“But real differences are certainly there, and we have to search for them behind the pile of invented differences. One difference I see is that a woman is more capable of love than a man is. A man’s love is more or less a physical necessity; a woman’s love is not. It is something greater and higher; it is a spiritual experience. That’s why the woman is monogamous and man is polygamous. The man would like to have all the world’s women, and still he would not be satisfied. His discontent is infinite.

“The woman can be satisfied with one love, utterly fulfilled, because she does not look at the body of the man, she looks at his innermost qualities. She does not fall in love with a man who has a beautiful muscular body, she falls in love with a man who has charisma – something indefinable, but immensely attractive – who has a mystery to be explored. She wants her man not to be just a man, but an adventure in discovering consciousness.” Osho

Instead of embracing our gender differences and making them work for us and not against us, it seems as though we created monogamy out of control and out of denial. While most women can be monogamous why a man feels a strong desire to be polygamous… why is this deemed as something wrong?

It is time to re-examine what we think we know about the male and female nature which is in direct contrast of the concept of monogamy and marriage. That is what the chapter of polygamy and human nature will investigate in my upcoming book.

Stay tuned!

by Janell Hihi

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3 thoughts on “Relationship Reform Chapter Sample “The P Word”

  1. Ummm wow!! Never considered polygamy from your fresh perspective. Of course your not refering to old school polygamy either… I like your view on it.

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  2. So your claiming polygamy is a natural state for men? I wouldn’t say that’s true for all men. It better not be for mine… I am status quo, you better get your ass home… Were exclusive… And u cant even look at another biotch! Lbvs

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