Do not let the title deceive you. A reactionist in the context in which I am using it in this article is defined as someone who creates situations to try to get a reaction out of you. It doesn’t matter if it is negative or positive. They need a reaction to validate something or make a point about an inner issue they have that they feel needs to be projected on to you.
Instead of feeling angry or betrayed, feel compassionate towards the individual trying to inflict a reaction out of you.” Janell Hihi
Compassion means that you remain meditative and neutral. Be a watcher in these situations as you are when meditating and being still. You watch all your emotions and irrational thoughts pass you by without attaching yourself to any of them. Non-attachment does not mean you do not care, it means you see beyond the artificial situation that has been orchestrated to make you react.
A common tactic for the reactionist is to conjure up situations without your knowing to surprise you and catch you off guard to create a sense of unpreparedness on your part, which really arouses their amusement.
The shock factor is a weapon they keep in their arsenal. It is not healthy behavior, it is unconscious, you can stay in your consciousness by flying above or you can regress into the pettiness by letting their tiresome cry out for attention upset you.
Remember what “they do” is about “them.” It is about their character and where they are on their own journey of consciousness and maturity. This is not a response to anything “you” did or said. It is them! So let the ball stay in their court, and when they try to pass it refuse to play.” Janell Hihi
Fly above and get a better view so you can see what is playing out. This does not mean you accept outright disrespect but it does not mean that you fly off the handle.
We only react to negativity when we are in a state of unacceptance. Accept then act. Act means you exit peacefully without a reaction when everyone is leaving.”
Don’t storm off, sit there and witness the character of the reactionist to his or her full extent.
To remain unaffected, you actually remain powerful. The reactionist was hoping to conspire some drama to feed their ego. You remained calm, unmoved and in control, their ego is still hungry because it did not get fed. Let this serve as a warning that the next time you encounter this individual the surprise tactic in which they chose to enact may be uglier, so it is up to you to decide if you want to see more of the same by wasting time with this individual or move around.
Taking the path of revenge means you regress into unconscious behavior. You have worked too hard to maintain your light to indulge in such an idiotic act such as revenge. The best revenge is no reaction, let their unconventional behavior sit with them, they will indeed be very upset when they cannot affect you.
Things to remember
Maintain your light.
Do not regress into unconscious behavior
Be compassionate instead of angry
Decide if this is a healthy relationship dynamic for you
By Janell Hihi