Once upon a time, I was a baggage handler. I would voluntarily allow those with baggage to unleash all their luggage unto me. I thought I was helping them by carrying half of their load.
But one day I just stopped. I let go of what wasn’t mines. The journey is their own, it is not yours. Do not enable people, let them carry their weight until they fold. It is all in divine order.
Some people learn from the past and others simply live in the past. If past experiences dictate all your current decisions, you have not realized yet what it is you were supposed to learn from it.
Example 1: Since I was not appreciated for all my hard work at my last job, I refuse to give it my all at this new job.
Example 2: My ex boyfriend cheated on me so I find it very hard to trust other people.
Example 3: My father left my mother and never maintained a relationship with me when I was a child and I turned out fine! So, I really don’t have to be in my child’s life either. This explains my lack of initiative.
People who have childhood issues that are not resolved and choose not to overcome them to stop a cycle past along for generations. Parents who do not face their demons, pass them to their children as baggage unintentionally. The drug addicted absent mother who saw her father use drugs continues on to carry her father’s baggage in her life. She make’s her father’s demons her own.
Her baggage is now her children’s suffering. They watch her kill herself with drugs, they are neglected and abandoned. They now carry the baggage of an absent, drug addicted mother. The baggage will be passed along until someone decides whole-heartedly to drop the bags that have plagued their family for generations.
This is not done by denying, it is done by forgiving. It is done by recognizing that the baggage isn’t yours. It is done by realizing that how people behave has nothing to do with who you are. This is the koan of forgiveness.
How to deal with someone who is stuck in the past?
When you recognize someone is subconsciously stuck in the past, understand their limitations in your life, they are a limitation to themselves so they will be a limitation to you. Let them go lovingly and also remind them they are not choosing to let go of their past, so they are not quite ready for anything new.
The more you are enthralled in your past, the less you are able to be present. You cannot ask others to help you carry the bags you refuse to let go of. The journey is yours and your’s alone. “Workout your own salvation, do not depend on others.” Bhudda
Stop carrying other’s baggage.
Let go of what isn’t yours.
by Janell hihi