It is What You Are

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Everything and everyone in your life is a mirror of your thoughts, beliefs, and values. Everyone is your mirror. This is the greatest of all relationships secrets and the only one you really need to understand to transform all your relationships in life. More importantly, to change anything in your relationships, you need to be the change you want to see.

While this truth applies to all of your relationships, from your family, to your friends and colleagues, and even to those you deem your “enemy”, it is your relationship with your significant other that enables you to take the closest, most accurate look at who you are.

My latest book, It is What You Are will provide you with in depth strategies on how to use the mirror effect to your advantage. If you are tired of attracting unhealthy & toxic relationships into your life, read the book and internalize the strategies. For more information on my book  CLICK HERE


Relationships give you an opportunity to experience yourself & grow.

Learn to recognize yourself in other people. It is only when you understand what it truly means to see yourself reflected back at you, that there is no room for blame, there is no room for judgment and there is no room to feel like a victim of another person’s actions or words. Forgiveness comes easily as we start to acknowledge we attract who we are. The person in your life was manifested by your subconscious and they mirror you in ways that you would rather not admit.

For example, recently I had an epiphany and I realized that I was attracting emotionally unavailable men into my life because I was emotionally unavailable to myself. For so long I ignored my real feelings, I didn’t honor my truth and I was afraid to follow my heart. Not honoring your calling in life is the perfect example of being emotionally unavailable to yourself. The power of the mirror effect in regards to love and relationships is spiritual directive in our lives. In my latest book, It is What You Are available on Amazon Kindle I emphasize the power of the mirror effect in regards to love and relationships that can help you transform your love life and the way you define your experiences.


When Only the Face Seems to Change, but the relationship dynamic stays the same.  

It is no secret that all your intimate relationships tend to be very similar. I am certain you have noticed how the fundamentals seem to remain the same while only the face changes. The repetition of the same problems, the same feelings and the same insecurities often leave you deeply disappointed and reluctant to try again. You surrender yourself to the belief that relationships are difficult and require much compromise and that the only relationship secret out there is luck, timing or even Divine Will. I am certain that you can’t help but notice how what starts off with such hope often ends with no hope at all. More than often, this turns men and women into people who only seek casual relationships. Casual relationships is the cowards paradise. Trust me, I’ve traveled to that destination several times in the past. Fear of being hurt have many women on their backs, legs open but heart closed off. Hopelessness is the anesthesia that numbs the soul.

Your Actions – How Do You Treat Yourself?

When your partner acts in a particular way that upsets you, you will find that you too act in the same way, most likely not towards him or her but towards yourself. How you treat yourself is exactly how your significant other will treat you. Therefore, if you are being treated like shit, take a look in the mirror. In more than one way you have neglected yourself, berated yourself, and didn’t forgive yourself for making mistakes. When you stopped loving yourself, you sent a signal out to the universe to send people into your life who will also stop loving you. Treat yourself with the love, respect and devotion you are so willing to give others and watch how your intimate relationships magically change.

It is What You Are
It is what you are. Author Janell Hihi explains how to master the mirror effect of love and relationships.

The Opposites Attract Theory does not apply to relationships.

Sorry, but if you just tried to justify in your head why you love Johnnie so much even though he treats you like last weeks trash by saying opposites attract, you are WRONG! Opposites don’t attract. In regards to relationships, polarities attract. Therefore, The Law of Polarity applies to intimate relationships. The Law of Polarity that states that “everything is dual, everything has poles; everything has its pair of opposites; opposites are identical in nature, but different in degree”. In other words, qualities that appear to be opposites are in fact two extremes of the same quality.

You may find that the quality you see in your partner appears to be the opposite of your own quality, but in fact, it is the same quality expressed in a different way. For instance, co-dependents and narcissist are different polarities of the same condition which is terribly low self-esteem and a feeling of powerlessness. However, one polarity is the narcissist who tries to feel his sense of powerlessness by controlling other people. The other polarity is the co-dependent who uses their sense of powerlessness to try to seek the approval of others and earn validation. The two entities are the same but they express themselves differently. Again, it is, what you ARE!

If you have been playing the victim card and pointing the finger at others, it is time to look in the mirror. My book can give you strategies and techniques to use to attract better relationships into your life by harnessing the power of the mirror effect in love and relationships.

It is, What you are!

By Author Janell Hihi


16 thoughts on “It is What You Are

  1. Still tripping off the pyschobiotics part. I had no ideal biologically that the gut was a 2nd brain and bacteria in the gut sends messages to the brain… Wow. Very impressed how you explained the heart, mind and body connection. Food influencing mood and how it can affect your love life.


  2. Great book! Read it last night. I love the chapter Sexpectations and How to use food to improve your love life. Very interesting!


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