Are You Too Independent?

In my book, It is What You Are: How to Master the Mirror Effect of Love & Relationships – available on – I dedicate an entire chapter to the illusion of independence and how it negatively affects our intimate relationships.

There are people in my life I simply cannot live without. I need these people like I need water and I am no longer too proud to admit it. Instead of being afraid of being somewhat dependent on others, I now embrace it!

I need you! Is that okay?

The entire universe is interdependent in nature. Therefore, we are all connected whether we like it or not. I am so grateful for every connection I have with others. On those days when being a single parent drags me down to the bitter dark corner of my soul, and I am exhausted and in need of a break, I have a community of people ready and willing to assist me in getting a much needed break.


I have friends that I can call on when my budget is interrupted by an unexpected expense. They are willing to open their wallets and share with me, whatever they have so that I can make it through any tough financial times I encounter. I always have a set of open ears waiting to listen, just a phone call away. I have elders and mentors, willing to help guide me along my way.

I often question the sanity of anyone who thinks they can do it all alone. To be in need is not the same as being weak. If you are surrounded by people who make you believe that, then your are in the wrong crowd indeed.

The day I realized that independence was an illusion, was the day I was set free.

By Janell Hihi



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