My unbelonging is loud
Not loud like the rumblings from cars in the city, not loud like police sirens, not loud like my neighbors yelling from the rage of abuse and domestic violence.
But loud like nature… when the sun settles high in blue skies commanding attention, the brightness squinting your eyes, the heat generating sweat on your skin.
It’s impossible to hide even the feelings I harbor within, it travels outside of me with the whisper of the wind and you hear it.
Sometimes I’d wish my arrival wasn’t so announced – so blatant and so threatening to them.
Like nature stirring up a hurricane, they are helpless when they watch me, they either run for cover or become obsessed telling stories of my possible path of destruction and how many lives I could potentially take.
I provoke imagination in strangers, they’ve created vast stereotypes about my kind, and stories and myths that will live on forever – Must be some creative force that emits from my being that inspires child-like abandon within their minds that – like a hungry wolf wants to devour me – recreate me – define, restrict and silence my existence.
To make my presence not a presence anymore – only folklore – a myth – an unrhythmic urban legend.
And that is it…
By Janell Hihi