Disclaimer: This is a somewhat true and somewhat a joke so please, don’t waste your time sending me hate mail I am not going to read. The statements below are focused more on the dark side of Cancers.
Cancers are crusty crabs in a barrel born in July (May 21-July 21)… July Leo’s born July 21st through the 31st also share many characteristics with Cancers. I know plenty of July born Leo’s who are always one Xanax away from a complete emotional breakdown or crisis.
Grown ass cancer men and women cry every day like raging toddlers for the most minuscule and juvenile things. Real tears, boogers and all! It’s humbling to watch.
I had a Cancer/Leo ex who cried at least twice a week about his ex even years after they broke up despite the fact that he knew she was not the right person for him. Cancers fall in love with emotionally unavailable people so they can feel like the victim.
Cancers are named after a disease. I’ll just leave that there…
This asshole from the show Shark Tank is a Cancer!
Cancers love feeling like victims so they create situations that will make them victims.
Cancer men are Beta males. They are not Alpha. If you want a MASCULINE male, keep it moving. Cancer is not the right man for you unless you appreciate the feminine within a man.
A Cancer man or a Leo born at the end of July will be so sensitive and so emotional that you may often find yourself questioning their sexuality. Cancer men don’t appear heterosexual, at all!
Cancers are emotionally animated. They remind me of cartoon characters, specifically the Looney Tunes. Their emotions are exaggerated, out of control, up and down and negative and positive all within a ten-minute time span.
Cancers think everyone is out to get them. The minute you disagree with them they believe you have it out for them.
Cancers make good actors! They are overly emotional and animated so they are natural actors on stage or behind a camera. They are not natural at anything else. Google famous Cancers and everyone from Tom Cruise to Tom Hanks is on that list!
Cancers never stop worrying! I can almost guarantee every person born under this Sun or Moon sign has generalized anxiety disorder.
The Cancers ruling planet is not even a planet… it’s the moon. The moon goes through various different phases and changes daily and the changes of the moon reflect the Cancers moods swings.
Cancers are Passion Killers, which means they murder from an emotionally unbalanced place. OJ Simspon is a Cancer – great example!
Cancers love to play the “Guess how I’m feeling game?” Then when you try to guess they cry real tears as they run out the room yelling, “You should already know how I feel.”
Cancers are not adventurous. They are crabs hiding in a shell. Introverted sometimes, extroverted when they want to be. Most of the time Cancers are too paranoid to try new things. They don’t like to take risks!
Most Cancers are extreme conspiracy theorist. They believe in the most bizarre things! Jesse Ventura is one of the few Cancers I adore probably because we graduated from the same high school. Regardless, he is a famous conspirarcy theroist.
Most cancers dwell in self-pity, once they get depressed it is very hard for them to come out of it.
Cancers claim to be homemakers but they are really just afraid to leave the house. They claim to be cautious but they’re afraid to take risks, they appear to be intuitive but they are really spying on you, they claim to be imaginative but they are really delusional.
Most Cancers are homebodies because they do not like going outside their shell. Like the Moon that rules them, most Cancers purpose in life is to revolve around someone or something…
Like the moon has no purpose and it has no light of its own. It has to wait to be illuminated by the sun. The Cancer is the most codependent sign of the Zodiac because they have to revolve their life around something or someone else. They need to shine from someone else’s light.
Cancers need to feel needed. They love in a paternal way. They like to wash your clothes, tell you which job to take, cook you dinner, and wake you up in the morning and have your clothes ready!
Cancers smother people because they believe a relationship means you must be joined at the hip. Shower together, take the trash out together, watch every show and movie together. They are so attached it becomes annoying!
They like dating people who are emotionally unavailable so that they can play their favorite role as “The Victim,” later. It’s crazy!
Like their fellow water sign Pisces, they will go as far as hurting themselves to be labeled a martyr. They accept jobs they are overqualified for just to feel superior over fellow employees and be put in a position where they feel like they can tell other people what to do.
Cancer’s believe they are highly intuitive and empathic, but that’s not true. They are introverted, codependent and overly emotional and sensitive to everyone and everything around them. They are annoying as fuck!
Cancers are hoarders. They attach emotion to every little trinket they own. Their garage is full of keepsakes. Of things, normal people would throw out. They kept the movie tickets from their first date 15 years ago when they were 16 years old. They keep stuff they don’t need, their homes are dusty, cluttered and overfilled with unnecessary stuff!
Cancers dedicate certain days of the week to thrift and garage sale shop just to buy more shit to add to their cluttered homes and garages. It’s sad!
Cancers think emotionally, they never think rationally. This is why according to the FBI they are the most booked criminals of the Zodiac.
Most Cancers rebel against the law just because they think they have the wits to outsmart everyone and everything.
Cancers are passive aggressive. I believe passive aggressive people are the worst people in the world. They don’t understand themselves or other people and tons of drama constantly ensues around them.
Cancers don’t trust life, at all! They think the worst and end up in the worst situations because they invite that energy with their constant negative thoughts.
Most Cancers are clinically diagnosed with depression.
Cancers are notorious for on again and off again relationships. They are a water sign like Pisces and Scorpio and you will always find yourself starting over and over again with them. It’s exhausting. It’s like building a home together and a hurricane wipes it out every time you rebuild it.
Cancers dwell on everything and can’t get over ANYTHING. They are that friend who will call you over and over again to talk about their ex. It’s just too much, everything they do is too damn extra!
Cancers look for insults, they need to feel under attack, constantly! If you’re being too nice they will bait you and set the stage for you to come at them with some type of confrontation to feed on their need for drama.
Cancers don’t want a normal relationship dynamic, they’d rather have a therapist/patient relationship dynamic where they can play the therapist or the hero.
Cancers have lots of strays sleeping on the sofa in their home. They pick up stray animals and allow stray people to stay at their house for days and weeks on in. Divorcees, crackheads, people who just got evicted and whoever else needs a place to stay will be at the Cancer’s home hanging out.
Allowing these people to stay and eat all their food and hang out rent free gives the Cancer something to complain about! This is what they live for.
Cancers are mama’s boys. Have you ever seen the movie Baby Boy starring Tyrese? Baby boy is the epitome of everything a Cancer is. Watch the movie!
Cancers will date someone with major issues just so they can save that person from their issues. They really believe they have the power to change an alcoholic, a cheater, a gambler or a drug addict into a normal, loving and compassionate person.
Cancer’s favorite line:
“I did all this for you and this is how you treat me?”
I can’t deal with water signs in general because I am an Aquarius. Cancers are emotionally dramatic and Aquarius are emotionally detached. I am sure by now, you know why Cancers irritate me to no end!
By Janell Hihi Copyright@2016