I wrote an article Is he dating you to get to your child? about this topic as it pertains to children of single moms prey for pedophiles and abuse from their mother’s boyfriend. It is imperative to understand how selective you must be in who you allow into your home and around your child.
In this article, I want to focus on how men prey on a single woman as easy to sleep with, easy to use and easy to manipulate.
I’m astonished by the men I meet who think that they are about to just instantly get invited into my home, regardless if my child is home, and sleep with me… I don’t know them from the cat down the street and they think they are coming into my home which I share with my child? Never.
Regardless if your single from being divorced or a single parent from having a child out of wedlock, you are vulnerable to abuse.
Men who don’t have kids and date woman with kids may or may not have bad intentions but I will say most single men with no kids don’t want to seriously date women with kids. Typically, they just want sex. Single men see single mothers as easy to sleep with because they equate being a single mother with being desperate.
Most of the time, these men will sleep with single mothers, until they find something they deem better and leave for good. They typically will not ask about her children or ask to meet them. They typically show signs early in the dating process that they just want sex, somewhere to go after the club sometimes and an occasional homemade meal.
However, if a single man with no kids is dating a woman with kids, and wants to meet the kid almost as soon as they meet you, this man is a predator and wants access to your child. I can’t stress this enough.
I dated a guy recently who was hard pressed about meeting my daughter. I immediately grew suspicious and I began to pay more attention to his behavior. Obviously, I never let him meet my child but I did notice he only liked my daughter pictures on Facebook and none of mines. He asked if my daughter’s father was still in her life and I let him know that he is. He responded as if he was disappointed that my daughter’s father was still in her life, it was odd and I took it as an immediate red flag.
I had a sixth sense that he was a predator and confused about his sexuality. I cut ties with him because a normal man who was interested in me, would be relieved that my daughter’s father was still in her life because that means I am not looking for a father for my child, I’m looking for a man to be in a relationship with.
After several attempts of him asking to meet my daughter and me denying him access telling him I have to get to know him first and it may take at least a year or so for him to meet my child, he began to be distant with me and pull away.
He knew that it would be impossible to get easy and fast access to my child and I noticed he showed less interest in me, called and text me less often and became aloof.
I ended it with him, and I hope I left an impression to how strong, stealth and committed a single mother can be when it comes to protecting her child.
However, since he was predatory, he felt discouraged that her father was still in her life because that is an obstacle that would get in his way. It’s truly sickening.
Other men who are narcissistic won’t directly abuse your kids but they will sway you into becoming a bad parent by romanticizing you to spend more time with them instead of your kid.
They see your child as competition for your attention and they may lash out against your child if you are spending more time and attention on them. It may seem childish but I’ve experienced this and coached several women who have as well.
Some men who also have kids will date a woman with kids and keep a wall up between them at two separate families even after the engagement and married. A blended family can be a beautiful thing but some men are so hard pressed on who their kids are and who your kids are that they can’t quite grasp the concept of two families that aren’t biological coming together as one unit.
I’ve coached several women who have boyfriends with kids and they never feel like their boyfriend truly accepts their kid. They are cordial and nice to them but do not show a closeness that a step parent normally would.
This short article is a warning to single mothers that men are looking at you in predatory ways just because you are a single woman with a kid. They are making an assumption that you are weak, desperate and vulnerable.
There are countless Youtube videos with men degrading single mothers, justifying abusing them and using them and literally talk about them like they are stray dogs!
As a single, divorced mother, I am vigilant in protecting myself and my child from the predatory and manipulative men out there who see me as an easy target. I take pride in all means necessary to protect myself and my child and I am far from weak! I would like to educate women on the dangers of being a single mother and how to protect themselves and their child from men who have predatory intentions.
More to come on this, including a nationwide lecture, tour, and book.
By Janell Hihi Copyright@2017