12 Most Manipulative Narcissistic Traits

narc name tag

Narcissist have a special way of making the victim feel crazy for being hurt and appalled by the narcissist’s abuse. They call it gas lighting, I call it soul murdering, mind fuckery.


I was married to a narcissist for 6 years and then dated a narcissist for almost two years after that. It’s embarrassing I stayed that long in a toxic marriage only to leave one narcissist just to move on to the next.

Below is a list of the most manipulative, soul sucking, sadistic traits narcissist play on their unsuspecting victims.

#1. Narcissist will make you apologize a thousand time for being angry for something they did to hurt you, but they won’t apologize once for what they did to hurt you and make you angry in the first place.

#2. Narcissist have a way of just turning off love as if it’s a light switch! They can turn off love just as easily as they turn on love because they only loved you as a tool to use you.

#3. Narcissist attack the things you value most because those are things you will defend the most passionately. They will hit below the belt without hesitation. They need a highly charged emotional reaction from you to feed their drone-like, empty existence.


#4. Narcissist don’t really want friends. What they want is followers, fans and worshippers who never question or criticize them.

#5. Narcissist deny reality. If you call them out on something they did or said they deny it ever happened as if you’re a complete lunatic. The denial game is real with the narcissist.

Acting as if they truly don’t remember what they said or what they did in such a way you feel sorry for them.

The issue is, what they did or said was probably based on a lie or an illusion and lies are hard to remember. Narcissist act so much they forget the scenes they played.


#6. Narcissist are either racist, sexist, homophobic or openly express some kind of bias against certain people but they don’t call it what it is, they justify their bias with alternative facts. Facts that may be valid in an alternate or parallel universe.

#7. Narcissist don’t want your love, they want your complete submission and obedience. You are not an equal partner to them, your a servant only there to serve their needs while abandoning your own.


#8. If your not always thinking positive about them, they will perceive that as a major relationship infraction and justification for leaving you. There shall be no arguments, no confrontations, no complaints and no negativity.

#9. Their relationship conflict management skills consist of breaking up as solution to every issue that arises. This is why their relationship consist of a roller coaster ride of make ups and break ups. They love the adrenaline rush of breaking up and making up. Normal people find it exhausting, narcissist find it exciting!

#10. Just remember his “crazy” ex girlfriend was just as amazing to him as you are now, despite how much he demonizes her. Everyone that does not completely obey the narcissist is labeled as crazy.

#11. There’s a price to pay for the narcissist kindness. Everything he does for you comes with undisclosed strings attached. He loves from his ego and he’s taking inventory. You’ll receive a bill soon that you will pay for with your tears.

#12. Narcissist think lying and hiding things are not the same. They often justify their lies by saying they didn’t feel it was the right time to tell you. Then they say they didn’t trust you enough to tell you the truth. Then suddenly they are asking you to apologize for their lies. Besides, it’s because you’re so untrustworthy they couldn’t trust you with the truth!


There you have it! The games narcissist play that can truly effect your life in a profound way. Please subscribe to my mailing list to be notified when my book drops, How to Defeat a Narcissist: Proven Techniques to Shut Down a Narcissist. 

By Janell Hihi Copyright@2017



One thought on “12 Most Manipulative Narcissistic Traits

  1. I’m happy to have found your blog! This Friday I am moving to the Twin Cities from Atlanta to start a new life with my 4 month old son after spending 8 years with my N ex. He turned off my car insurance while I was pregnant resulting in me turning into a angry gorilla. Best thing that ever happened to me! I went no contact while I finished my pregnancy. “Gave” him oppotunity to bond with my son and he tried to subject me to fuether abuse so I had to cut him off for peace of mind and I knew he was going to blow it. He even attempted to hold out feeding my baby because he didn’t want him to be demanding. 😑 My son was not even a month old and a breast fed baby. My ex has since found a new supply and I am happy he has a new distraction. I know he’ll be back to bother me especially after I rise up. I’ll be ready to deflect that bullshit.

    Liked by 1 person

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