The short answer is “Yes!”
Narcissist will stay with women who continually accept their abuse by denying it and making excuses for it.
As long as the narcissist is getting a steady source of quality narcissistic supply, he can maintain relationships that last decades.
The ideal victim who the narcissist will choose to be in longterm relationship with must never question him, never criticize him and never, ever call out his false self.
Narcissist need their partners to help them maintain their grandiose sense of self by continually complementing them, obeying them and trusting their every word.
The minute you question, criticize or investigate shady behavior from your narcissistic partner is the moment you are disregarded as longterm relationship material to the narcissist.
If you’re not robotic, overly optimistic, degradingly submissive and compliant, the relationship will last a few months to a year at the longest.
This doesn’t mean you’re not good relationship material.
This means you have a healthy level of self-esteem and self-respect that you leave when love is no longer being served.
As long as you understand that it’s his way or the highway, you can maintain a longterm relationship with a narcissist!
A great way to gauge your level of self-esteem is how fast you are able to recognize narcissistic and toxic relationships and how fast you are able to leave them!
Never look at a relationship and assume because a couple was together 12 years, they must have a very strong bond. It’s safe to assume they’ve been through a lot together. However, it is not okay to assume that relationship is healthy or has allowed each partner to grow into a better person.
It’s important to remember when considering the longevity of narcissistic relationships that it’s the quality of the relationship not the quantity of the years the narcissist stayed in the relationship.
In fact, most narcissist never leave a good source of supply. Usually what happens is the codependent partner realizes they are in an abusive relationship and they finally gather the courage to leave the narcissist for good.
The narcissist will stay in play forever, if the victim allows them to . Narcissist favorite line to manipulate their victims to stay with them is:
“We’ve been together all these years, and we’ve been through so much, and you’re just gonna leave?”
The number of years we are in a relationship is no reason to stay in that relationship. It is the quality of those years that determines whether or not we should stay.
Ten years of being with a man in an off again and on again relationship is not ten years of love, loyalty and respect. Instead, it’s ten years of chaos, instability and inconsistency.
The length of time a man stays with a women does not determine how much he loves her. She could be a safe option, a convenience, a financial resource, or an opportunity for a better life.
She could also be a punching bag he can take out all his frustrations on because she is so lost and codependent, the fear of being alone is worse then being in an abusive relationship.
Narcissist often provoke arguments and fights and then blame the victim for being a nag or a drama queen.
As long as you can live your life constantly being labeled a drama queen and accepting your narcissistic partner as the victim of your alleged paranoia, insecurity and jealousy… you will be able to maintain a longterm relationship with a narcissist.
If you’re reading this because you left a narcissist before you could define the relationship as long-term, good for you!
If you’re reading this wondering how your narcissistic ex lover is in a longterm relationship with another women, remember it’s the women who determines how long she will tolerate narcissistic abuse.
Better her then you!
You’re worth is not determined by how long your relationships last. It’s determined by your ability to walk away from abusive and toxic relationships.
By Janell Hihi @Copyright 2018