Narcissist can’t leave their supply unless they have a plan B on the sidelines that will be a smooth transition for them to enter once they leave their main partner or their partner leaves them.
As soon as the narcissist realizes that his main supply (his current girlfriend) no longer believes the illusion of who he pretends to be, the narcissist will start looking for replacement supply.
As I mention in my upcoming book, How to Defeat a Narcissist, the narcissist is very intuitive and they know when their partner is contemplating leaving them for good.
Instead of working through those problems narcissist only have one solution in their limited mental arsenal. That solution is to leave the problems unsolved and leave you by replacing you with someone else.
Working through relationship problems with a narcissist is impossible. This is because they deny the issues exist in the first place.
Typically what occurs is the narcissist begins to seek out a new partner who is very similar to their current partner to avoid grieving the relationship once it inevitably ends. The narcissist hopes that the new partner will accept their abuse without questioning or criticizing them.
Narcissist want obedience and submission, not love. They don’t want anything or anyone around them that challenges them to grow!
This is exactly why narcissist fail to learn from their mistakes. They are maladaptive. Narcissist never give themselves time to heal from a break up. They immediately jump into another relationship to avoid pain.
The toxic relationship that narcissist have with pain compels them to avoid it. Unfortunately, narcissist lack the ability to accept pain and heartache as a natural part of life that every human being must endure.
Narcissist never endure, they only AVOID.
Narcissist avoid anything and everything that is difficult to bear that normal, and mentally healthy individuals are able to get through and learn from.
Narcissist are seeking new sources of supply the minute you begin to challenge them, question them, or call them out on their behavior.
Calling a narcissist out on their behavior and not taking responsibility for their behavior, makes them accountable for what they say and do.
Narcissist never want to be accountable. The minute their partner demands their accountability the narcissist mask begins to crack and their illusion is threatened.
Narcissist don’t want a real relationship that challenges them to be a a better person. They want a perception, a facade, an appearance of real love. To appear in love is better then actually being in love to a narcissist
Everything is just for show. The minute you crack their false persona is the minute the process of replacing you begins. They seek out replacement supply desperately, and passionately. They put all their energy into finding a person to replace their current partner behind their back.
As soon as they find a new victim and secure them, they discard their partner in a way that relives them of commitment but still gives them access to their old partner at their convenience. Therefore, the narcissist never completely leaves. He stays in the background so that he can still have access to you.
Example, my narcissistic ex would break up with me but still want to be friends with benefits. He would say, “I will always love you but a relationship is too much for me right now, I need to be alone. I still have needs and since you’re the last person I had sex with, I’d like to continue having sex with just you.”
It’s a sugarcoated way of demoting his partner to a booty call while he builds a strong relationship with his new supply.
They will seek out a person who looks like you, who has a similar personality, even a similar looking child… it’s eerie and weird. They want to continue where they left of at so that they avoid grieving you. It’s a twisted cycle of illusion and avoidance.
The narcissist will never completely leave you. He needs you as side supply to gratify his enormous ego when his new supply disappoints him.
Another example is my narcissistic exes would text or email me randomly when I haven’t heard from them in months or even years. Basically, when the narcissist experiences issues in their current relationships, they reach out to exes for ego strokes.
Instead of dealing with the issues in their current relationship they reach out to exes or look for new supply instead. What results is a multitude of unresolved issues that pile up to the point that the narcissist or their partner eventually leaves. This is the end result of mostly all the narcissist relationships.
Everything about the narcissist is UNRESOLVED. Whether it’s issues with their childhood, their parents, untreated abuse, past relationships, addiction, etc.,
The narcissist wants to put you in his bottomless vortex of unresolved issues so that you remain stuck and unable to completely remove yourself from the narcissist’s trap. GET OUT. The narcissist won’t ever fully leave you. It is up to you to cut the narcissist off for good.
By Janell Hihi @Copyright 2018