Individuals with low self-esteem have the biggest egos. In fact, they live their lives by their ego and anyone who pricks at their fragile sense of self becomes an imminent enemy. A miniscule slight to their ego is unforgivable. These people indulge in back to back relationships to experience the honeymoon phase and as soon as the relationship encounters obstacles, they run for the hills.
Since they are ego driven they lack the ability resolve issues effectively. Instead of washing dirty laundry they throw the dirty clothes away and buy new clothes. The ego is always combative, defensive and hurt. It’s a victim. It knows no other way to exist.
Many people believe individuals with big egos are overly confident. That’s not the case at all! People with low self-esteem guard their egos with their life. Anyone who criticizes them, disagrees with their opinion or uses humor at their expense will hurt them deeply.
This is why victims of narcissistic abuse take abuse so profoundly. It’s difficult for them to move on because they cling to a sense of victimhood that validates their low self worth. Before they entered the relationships with the narcissist they had no true sense of self. Ego possesses individuals who lack a sense of self. A house with a bad foundation clings on to outside sources of security until it collapses. A home with a damaged foundation has no value. It’s sold cheaply and is treated as a project rather than a valued home. It’s a fixer upper and is treated as such!
The narcissist is like a real estate inspector. He can see a weak foundation from a mile away. He love bombs the individual, plays to their ego and wins their heart with minimal effort. Instead of fixing up the home they buy, they completely destroy it and use the land to build a different house.
The narcissist isn’t the problem because an individual with a true sense don’t take how others treat them as a measure of their self worth. The perpetual victim of narcissistic abuse is the problem. Continually allowing abuse is a choice, not a spell the narcissist puts their victim under. Fix your own foundation. Develop an authentic sense of self. Your appraisal will go up and narcissist will be unable to afford to buy you.
What’s your value?
Do you have a strong sense of self?
Are you living through your ego or by your values and morals?
Tough love is the best love.