Narcissist lie to cover up their true self and paint an ideal image they perceive as better than who they actually are.
Narcissist are actors playing the role of someone they wish they were. That someone is usually very smart, attractive, successful and confident.
Narcissist lie to themselves more than anyone else. They must keep up the appearance as a good person and the only way to do so is to compulsively lie about EVERYTHING.
Some of the lies they tell are purposeless, white lies just because they get entertainment from deceiving others in the most miniscule ways. For example, you can ask a narcissist what they ate for dinner and they may have had pizza but they will lie and say they had steak. There’s no point in telling that lie but they still do.
Below are five common lies and exaggerations narcissists often use to manipulate people:
1.) “I love you!”
Most Narcissist will spew the words “I love you,” within a few weeks or months of a relationship… some even only days after meeting a love interest. Love is only shown through action and words should only be trusted when they are backed up with behavior that proves them right. When the narcissist professes his love he does this to love bomb his target and butter them up for the unexpected abuse that is soon to come. The narcissist doesn’t love himself so he cannot love others. Therefore his love confessions are lies!
2. “I’m sorry.”
The narcissist apologies are weak, insincere and used only to appease their partners. First of all their never sorry because they believe whatever they did was their partners fault anyways. If they cheated it was due to their partners neglect, if they lied it was because they are afraid of their partner can’t handle the truth… narcissist are blameless. Therefore, their apologies are laughable.
3. “I’ll change.”
Perhaps this is the biggest lie! Narcissist are maladaptive meaning they can’t change unless they undergo years of psychiatric treatment and mind altering medication. The only thing the narcissist can do is lie by promising they will change but never actually change. It’s not you, it’s them! Their behavior is hardwired into their psyche and no matter how hard you love them they will not change until they are ready to get the professional help they need to do so. As explained in my book How to Defeat a Narcissist the only thing narcissist can give is hope! They offer no solid tangibles or intangibles. As soon as their partner loses hope in the narcissist promises to change they begin the first step to leaving the narcissist for good.
4. “My ex was abusive/cheated/betrayed me.”
The narcissist must control the narrative of every relationship in their life. Narcissist understand the power of appearing as a victim in previous relationships. The narcissist may have in fact abused his ex but will paint him/her as the abuser. Basically, the narcissist lies by twisting the roles in the story to earn his new partners sympathy and pity. Narcissist understand the power of getting others to feel sorry for them so they can continue to remain unaccountable for every disastrous relationship in their past. Soon, they will do the same to you by painting the picture that you’re a horrible person. Let the smear campaigns begin! And as a general rule of thumb, never believe the stories the narcissist makes up about their ex and resist the urge to give them unwarranted pity.
5. I own (XYZ) or make a six or seven figure income.
The narcissist wants to appear to be more successful and affluent than he actually is. He won’t accept himself for who he is, therefore he can’t change and grow to become the person he pretends to be. It’s a matrix of self lies and self deception that spill over into the narcissist relationships. In the love bombing stage the narcissist will make comments about his income even though you never asked, and subtly brag about cars or homes they own that may be put away in storage or given to friends and family. When it’s time to show and prove the narcissist won’t have anything to show. It’s all a lie. Further down in the relationship they may even ask you to borrow money or finance an expensive item for them because they don’t have liquid cash and their 1.5 million is frozen in some investments for the next year or so. Don’t believe their fables of fame and fortune. Only believe what you can see!
By J. Hihi Copyright@2019