We all know that cheesy guy who, whenever we try to have a “normal” conversation with him he injects compliments into the conversation every opportunity he gets!
At first it’s sweet. However, it quickly becomes annoying after the 3rd consecutive compliment within a 60 second time frame.
After the initial feeling of euphoria and the rush of dopamine wears off, the compliments loses their power.
If over the top flattery doesn’t automatically put you on guard, you might be craving external validation.
Unfortunately, if an individual is starving for affection they will eat up flattery like Thanksgiving Dinner. Only to discover later that they were bamboozled and love bombed by a manipulator. The first thing a victim of love bombing questions when they learn the truth is “Did he lie about everything he said to me?” Short answer: Yes!
By all means, a genuine compliment should be accepted and appreciated. The key is discerning what’s over the top and what’s real. Typically over the top flattery will seem superficial.
If every-time you try to ask your super charming date a question of real substance and instead of giving you a response that would allow you to get to know them they dodge the question and compliment your beautiful eyes… its obvious they just want to make you “feel good” without making themselves vulnerable.
In contrast, an overly critical partner is just as toxic as an over the top love bomber. Realness can be found within balance. A genuine partner will not like everything about you. They will have some criticisms. It’s natural and it’s real.
Love happens when we accept the good and the bad. In fact, there is nothing more deeply fulfilling than a partner who see’s the worst in you but loves you despite your flaws! That, my friends is far more powerful then being bombarded with shallow compliments.
Can he love you through your emotional storms, angry outburst and your bad habits? Can he love you through health crisis, depression, layoff’s, terminations and family drama?
That kind of love is best compliment a woman could EVER receive.
By J. Hihi @copyright2019