The Curse of The Air Signs Libra, Gemini Aquarius: Emotionally Resistant

Zodiac-Fashion

Aquarius, Libra and Gemini will drive themselves insane trying to figure out why something doesn’t make sense. 

This can lead to anxiety, compulsive thinking, obsessing and over analyzing everything!

 

Logic rules air signs like emotions rule water signs (Pisces, Cancer, Scorpio).

The issue is logic is only one side of the spectrum regarding overall balanced thinking. Emotion, empathy, sympathy and the ability to feel a situation out is often a challenge for most air signs depending on their overall elements in their birth chart.

The root cause of air signs allergy to emotions is once they emerge within a Libra, Gemini or Aquarius the emotions are so intense the air signs are not sure how to deal with them.

Instead of feeling out those emotions, air signs try to resist them altogether by justifying them with logic. And as the saying goes, what we resist will persist.

What we resist eventually controls us because resistance is such a toxic reaction that it provokes people to go to extremes to prevent the inevitable.

It’s not that air signs can’t feel emotion, their biggest challenge is how to properly channel them.

Water signs know how to use emotion as a tool and air signs should definitely take notes!

Most air signs feel a powerful emotion and tell themselves they don’t want to feel it. It doesn’t make sense to feel it. The feeling is not locked into a definition, it’s just there to be felt, not explained. Air signs simply can’t comprehend that concept!

Each air sign reacts somewhat differently to powerful emotions such as love, jealousy, fear, shame and betrayal…

Gemini avoids feeling strong emotions by trying to communicate why the emotion is… maybe it stems from childhood, a psychological condition, societal programming…

If the Gemini is not able to explain away their feelings or the feelings of others they escape. Gemini is the child of the zodiac and when pressure hits home, Gemini would rather go out and play. They may become inconsistent, disappear for days, give the person provoking their uncomfortable emotions within them the silent treatment. Or worse, they may cheat.

If the Gemini finds out that their partners emotions were insincere, unlike the Aquarius the Gemini may choose to say silent to see how far their partner is willing to go to try to deceive them… and in the meantime, the Gemini is already entertaining other prospects. They emotionally detached from the relationship.

Gemini’s may come off as innocent, naive or immature but they know what’s really going on – sometimes they will communicate with their actions how they really feel about you by totally ghosting you and not having a qualm about it, whatsoever.

Hell, they may be engaged within a month of the break up to a new person. What’s the point of being sad? Gemini’s will get over you and move on fast! It’s not that they never loved you, it’s just that they have the gift of goodbye and remain open to other options. Some think that’s being deceptive, I think it’s incredibly smart! It’s hard to play a Gemini. In the end, you’ll surely realize you were actually the one getting played!

Libra avoids feeling strong emotions by becoming possessive and blaming their partner for imaginary infractions. Libra, one of the most jealous signs of the zodiac has a strong internal need to balance everything out.

Libra’s will mirror their partners to a T. Libra will only give what their partner is willing to give and nothing beyond or extra because everything must be fair and equal. Libra does this with charm and pazzaz and it’s so subtle no one could ever detect it.

I had a Libra friend once say to me, “Don’t get mad, just do exactly what he does to you!”

Libra’s obsession with justice makes them more revengeful than Scorpios believe it or not! Libra’s carry out their revenge with a finesse that only a skilled narcissist could pull off. Try deceiving a Libra… I dare you! They will never forget what you did and make sure you pay for it forever! Similar to America’s justice system.

If you commit a crime it goes on your record and everyone can see it! It’s like a tattoo and everytime you apply for a job or a rental, a crime you committed 10 years ago may be used against you after you paid fines, spent years in jail and paid your dues. The same is true with Libra. They hold on to emotions which allows them to hold grudges like no other! When you cross a Libra, you pay forever.

I know it may not seem that way because of their charm, dashing smiles, fake forgiveness and unmatched beauty – but it’s the harsh truth.

Libra’s replay how others hurt them repeatedly in their heads holding their own selves hostage to pain. Libra’s biggest challenge is to really learn how to forgive to free themselves of toxic emotions.

If it was up to me the Libra would be holding two whips in their hand instead of the scales of justice and lady liberty would be replaced by a prison warden.

If they feel too strongly that their partner is making them jealous or possibly doing them wrong, the Libra will employ every mind game possible to even out the score while using their charm to cover up their vindictive behavior. Libra’s can use the silent treatment or explosive fights in attempt to deal with their feelings… but like every air sign, they must learn how to surrender to their emotions instead.

Aquarius responds to overwhelming emotions using a mixture of both Gemini and Libra tactics but mostly by jumping to conclusions. These conclusions could be a future prophesy of what is about to come. This intuitive flash of the future comes across as irrational to both the Aquarius and their partner.

Of course, Aquarius have deep insight and psychic ability these characteristics directly conflict with their logic, strong intellect and the strong desire to have evidence! To just know something without rhyme or reason drives the Aquarius insane but it’s often the case. Aquarius is a sign that dwells in the future. We represent what is yet to come not what already is. We constantly think about how the behavior and characters of others will affect our future.

Aquarius must spend more time in the present moment!

The Aquarius biggest challenge is to accept their psychic flashes revealing others intentions and motives without going into full investigative mode. However, few Aquarius learn this and most find out in the end that their gut feeling was right.

Aquarius may react as possessive, demanding, manipulative and revenge seeking but the worse reaction is total emotional detachment!

Aquarius would rather not deal with tedious emotions that can’t be explained or justified and would rather compartmentalize them and act as if those emotions don’t exist – or they are insignificant. The Aquarius then becomes cold!

Aquarius would rather end a relationship then be plagued with jealousy, untrustworthiness and bullshit. This may come off as impulsive to others. Too bad the Aquarius doesn’t care how they come off to others. True rebels! Unapologetic.

If you’re dealing with an air sign and you did or said something to trigger their emotions or insecurities be prepared for an ordeal.

The air sign wants to dispose of those emotions immediately – to an air sign holding on to those emotions is intolerable so the air sign will come at the perpetrator from every angle. Most signs say it feels like an attack!

It may come off as if air signs don’t know how to control their emotions. And it’s true they don’t! However, that alone doesn’t make them inefficient, or less than… rather it makes them demand explanations that catches other zodiac signs off guard.

Are you in love with an air sign?

I suggest you be prepared to deal with confrontation. And never under any circumstances try to lie, cover up or later change your story. We remember EVERYTHING and we already did the research – we got the answer… we just want to hear it from you.

To air signs, if it doesn’t make logical sense, it doesn’t matter. Approach us with logic not sappy emotions – especially if we caught you slipping… and if we didn’t already, we will! After all, we gather knowledge, store knowledge and use it to bust through bullshit!

By J.Hihi @Copyright2019

 

How Narcissism is Expressed in Each Zodiac Sign: Aries

hqdefault

Every sign of the zodiac is capable of being a narcissist! Narcissism can be expressed overtly or covertly and each sign has a unique way of expressing narcissistic characteristics.

The most perplexing dynamic of narcissistic abuse is its amorphous and chameleon characteristics. Narcissistic abuse is not one-note, it’s a unique expression of self-hate, anger, unresolved childhood issues, astrological make up and biological genetic indicators.

It’s important to be able to recognize and overcome the narcissist hiding inside of you and others. For example, a Leo narcissist expresses his narcissistic characteristics very differently than a Pisces Narcissist.

It’s also important to consider the victims zodiac sign to determine how narcissistic abuse will be received and dealt with. Some zodiacs signs are more prone to accept narcissistic abuse while others won’t tolerate a mere second of it! Which one are you?

This article will briefly explain narcissistic expression in each Zodiac sign… in July 2019 you’ll be able to purchase the book that will go into a deep analysis of narcissistic expression in each sign and how to combat it!

Let’s start with the first sign of the zodiac…

Aries

The first sign of the zodiac. The natural born leader who is fire by element and cardinal by nature. Aries is a trailblazer, never a follower. Aries is bold and assertive in their approach. Energized by their no nonsense, get the job done planet Mars… there’s no wonder why Aries are bursting with boldness, creativity, intelligence and ENERGY!

Aries is the astrological infant. Aries is about self but blooms from the love, validation and affection of others. Their internal need to be loved at all times is what makes them seek validation from others and if uncontrolled that attention they crave from others could turn into their need to receive narcissistic supply. Aries need people, but they don’t need people. Their complex nature is unsettling at times.

Aries have an infant like attraction that makes people gravitate to them with awe and wonder. They smile often, laugh hard, work hard and play hard. They can debate any air sign on any topic, show as much passion and emotion as a water sign yet still be as grounded and logical as an earth signs. I’m an Aquarius and it’s pretty hard to impress me but Aries seems to do it all the time. It’s always some craft, sport or study that they are phenomenally good at. I’m a captivated student gushing at their level of expertise.

However, I’m not a fan of the Aries anger. Again, Aries symbolizes the astrological infant. Infants cry, some have tantrums and despite any attempts to console them they may continue to scream and cry at the top of their lungs. Don’t piss off an Aries. Please!

It’s unfortunate that about 60% of the mass shooters in America were born under the sun sign Aries. Read my article. Their anger is dangerous and can be the downfall of their life. It could land them in prison or the grave. And all those gifts they are born with can go to waste with one angry outburst. Aries can get so angry they have a tendency to black out and forget the crazy behavior they exhibit while they were in a rage!

Childhood Narcissist: Aries are often bully’s as Children

My neighbor growing up was a grade A, Textbook bully born at the end of March. She would often bully my happy go lucky Sagittarius older sister. She tried me once and I put her in her place swiftly (Aquarius and Aries typically don’t get along) Aquarius hate controlling and arrogant people and institutions. Aquarians are rebellious by nature and if a Mars ruled Aries approaches us trying to get us to submit to an unreasonable law, concept or demand we will not conform. The result could be brutal, even deadly. Most world changing activist were born in January and February. A fixed sign and a Cardinal sign will always bump heads.

The child Aries will walk around with their head in the sky, bold and eager to challenge anyone to anything. They find entertainment in scaring people to death and they can smell fear like a lion sniffs out prey. The Aries bully is capable of inflicting abuse on other children for years on in as long as they can get away with it. Their bullying is both mental and physical, covert and overt. They develop a sick sense of humor and their demonic jokes can break the happiest child’s spirit.

Parents of Aries children must keep them in line and put them in sports or creative activities to help harness the influx of energy they receive from their aggressive planet Mars. Aries must create and expend energy, if it’s left pent up they have a tendency to become full fledged narcissist. Aries children not involved in sports or creative outlets often get diagnosed with ADHD.

Aries expresses narcissism with passive aggressive behavior.

Aries is unpredictable but a controlled Aries won’t lash out immediately upon threats of ego injury. They may wait and lash out later when it’s a little more appropriate and there’s no witnesses. Other less controlled Aries may resort to physical violence immediately. They may push, yell and get in others faces violating personal physical boundaries.

Aries the Covert Narcissistic is a Ticking Time Bomb!

aries-ram-1024x585.jpg

Aries has a tendency to let aggression build up and then explode. Their narcissism is mostly expressed covertly until they are pushed to the point of overt abuse.

In regards to narcissistic expression they may come off as codependent by allowing bad behavior from others to slide for a long period of time. Finally, when they’ve had enough they’ll explode on the victim with a vicious verbal assault and erratic behavior if not physical violence.

An Aries will punch you in the face! Be warned! Imagine a new born baby crying and throwing out their hands clutching, scratching and pinching anything they can grasp.

If the Aries is evolved and no longer resorts to physical violence he may abruptly and unexpecting DISCARD his partner out of the blue for things their partner did or did not do. It’s just that the Aries perceived them to have done certain things and feels like a victim and as a cardinal sign they feel they are entitled to abruptly ghost people and doesn’t owe ANYONE an explanation whatsoever.

Aries employs a cold and heartless Discard without Closure

Aries Men express narcissism different from women obviously. The Aries man will observe behavior of others with an Eagles eye similar to Scorpio and then make a decision without feeling the need to consult his partner that the relationship is now OVER.

The partner of the narcissistic Aries is often left shocked and confused by the sudden break up. The Aries man will not provide closure or an explanation. He’s gone. Maybe he’ll come back, maybe he won’t… he’s a cardinal sign. He does what he wants without shame.

Aries Narcissist Respond Negatively to Confrontation 

If you come for an Aries, you better come correct. It’s very similar to approaching a Scorpio. Make sure you rehearse before you dish out your criticism to them. Mars is the ruler of war and if you approach them even with the slightest gesture of aggression, you better be prepared to battle.

Communicating with an Aries born narcissist is like walking on eggshells. Speak softly and use language that is feminine and non-intimidating in nature.

Example, “Hi honey, I love you so much, do you have time to talk for a minute?” Yesterday, when you told me I looked like a troll because of my short stature and recently died blue hair doesn’t mix, that really hurt my feelings. I feel sad.”

The above approach is non-threatening and the Aries or Scorpio will respond positively. It’s unfortunate, if the victim of Aries narcissistic abuse has no tact (If their an Air sign Gemini, Libra, Aquarius) that soften approach will never happen and a full on fight may ensue. Aries has the right to blow up on other people but no one better not dare lose control in their presence. I know. It’s not fair! Nothing is ever fair dealing with a narcissist!

Aries Narcissistic women

Aries women are mostly codependent by nature but their are a few narcissistic Aries women out lurking, hungry for victims! Narcissistic Aries women often use their codependency as a mask to abuse others. The Aries women will go so hard for her man that she will feel like he is forever obligated to repay her. Of course, he never asked her to empty her savings to buy him studio time for the album he’s working on. Being an Aries she just took the initiative and did it herself.

When the Aries woman discovers her outlandish sacrifices are not being matched by her partner she becomes enraged! She will sulk for her man’s sympathy and pity and try to make him feel bad for “taking advantage” of her kindness in attempt to make him sacrifice for her in return. If that doesn’t work she may start petty arguments, violent fights or become mentally and verbally abusive. She may become very jealous and possessive of her partner when her narcissistic mask is removed and the monster underneath emerges. Her anger is unmatched and she is more likely to end up on an episode of “Snapped” as the suspect, not a victim.

Aries narcissistic women are extremely passive aggressive and do too much too soon when they are romantically interested in someone. They are too emotional and get too attached too fast. They are therefore the queens of love bombing and have unrealistic expectations too early in relationships.

J.Hihi @Copyright2019

5 Most Common Lies Narcissist Tell

People
People

Narcissist lie to cover up their true self and paint an ideal image they perceive as better than who they actually are.

Narcissist are actors playing the role of someone they wish they were. That someone is usually very smart, attractive, successful and confident.

Narcissist lie to themselves more than anyone else. They must keep up the appearance as a good person and the only way to do so is to compulsively lie about EVERYTHING.

Some of the lies they tell are purposeless, white lies just because they get entertainment from deceiving others in the most miniscule ways. For example, you can ask a narcissist what they ate for dinner and they may have had pizza but they will lie and say they had steak. There’s no point in telling that lie but they still do.

Below are five common lies and exaggerations narcissists often use to manipulate people:

1.) “I love you!”

Most Narcissist will spew the words “I love you,” within a few weeks or months of a relationship… some even only days after meeting a love interest. Love is only shown through action and words should only be trusted when they are backed up with behavior that proves them right. When the narcissist professes his love he does this to love bomb his target and butter them up for the unexpected abuse that is soon to come. The narcissist doesn’t love himself so he cannot love others. Therefore his love confessions are lies!

2. “I’m sorry.”

The narcissist apologies are weak, insincere and used only to appease their partners. First of all their never sorry because they believe whatever they did was their partners fault anyways. If they cheated it was due to their partners neglect, if they lied it was because they are afraid of their partner can’t handle the truth… narcissist are blameless. Therefore, their apologies are laughable.

3. “I’ll change.”

Perhaps this is the biggest lie! Narcissist are maladaptive meaning they can’t change unless they undergo years of psychiatric treatment and mind altering medication. The only thing the narcissist can do is lie by promising they will change but never actually change. It’s not you, it’s them! Their behavior is hardwired into their psyche and no matter how hard you love them they will not change until they are ready to get the professional help they need to do so. As explained in my book How to Defeat a Narcissist the only thing narcissist can give is hope! They offer no solid tangibles or intangibles. As soon as their partner loses hope in the narcissist promises to change they begin the first step to leaving the narcissist for good.

4. “My ex was abusive/cheated/betrayed me.”

The narcissist must control the narrative of every relationship in their life. Narcissist understand the power of appearing as a victim in previous relationships. The narcissist may have in fact abused his ex but will paint him/her as the abuser. Basically, the narcissist lies by twisting the roles in the story to earn his new partners sympathy and pity. Narcissist understand the power of getting others to feel sorry for them so they can continue to remain unaccountable for every disastrous relationship in their past. Soon, they will do the same to you by painting the picture that you’re a horrible person. Let the smear campaigns begin! And as a general rule of thumb, never believe the stories the narcissist makes up about their ex and resist the urge to give them unwarranted pity.

5. I own (XYZ) or make a six or seven figure income.

The narcissist wants to appear to be more successful and affluent than he actually is. He won’t accept himself for who he is, therefore he can’t change and grow to become the person he pretends to be. It’s a matrix of self lies and self deception that spill over into the narcissist relationships. In the love bombing stage the narcissist will make comments about his income even though you never asked, and subtly brag about cars or homes they own that may be put away in storage or given to friends and family. When it’s time to show and prove the narcissist won’t have anything to show. It’s all a lie. Further down in the relationship they may even ask you to borrow money or finance an expensive item for them because they don’t have liquid cash and their 1.5 million is frozen in some investments for the next year or so. Don’t believe their fables of fame and fortune. Only believe what you can see!

By J. Hihi Copyright@2019

 

 

How the Narcissist Can Turn Their Victims From Confident to Codependent

human-puppet.jpg

Before you met the narcissist you were happy and content with your life. You may have had a few confidence issues, but nothing that stopped you from living your life to the fullest.

However, after the honeymoon phase of your relationship with the narcissist, you experience the toxic, devaluation stage where the love the narcissist once gave is replaced with lies, manipulation and hate.

The 360 Effect

The narcissist shocks their victims into to codependency by changing so abruptly from being Prince Charming to Hellraiser!

The shock creates insecurity, confusion, anxiety, and unrest within the victim. They just want to know why things changed and if it could ever go back to the way it used to be.

The narcissist then throws fuel into the fire by introducing the sadistic mental tactic of Gaslighting.

According to an article by Psychology Today:

“The Oxford Dictionary defines codependency as “excessive emotional or psychological reliance on a partner.” In a gaslighting relationship, the gaslighter elicits constant insecurity and anxiety in the gaslightee, thereby pulling the gaslightee by the strings. The gaslighter has the power to grant acceptance, approval, respect, safety, and security. The gaslighter also has the power (and often threatens to) take them away. A codependent relationship is formed based on fear, vulnerability, and marginalization.”

The narcissist tries to transform his victim into a weakling in desperate need of his love, affection, approval and validation. Why? Because that makes him feel powerful. He is weak without that power. The victim is just a vessel he can extract from.

The narcissist wants a puppet not a partner in his relationship. He wants to be the remote that can push your buttons and control your actions, how you feel and most importantly, your self-confidence.

The narcissist wants his victim to self-sabotage

The narcissist doesn’t necessarily want to outright destroy his victim. He wants the victim to destroy themselves. Gaslighting is the vehicle he uses to employ his twisted desires.

Below is a list of sure fire signs you’re a victim of Gaslighting

  • Discrediting you by making other people think that you’re crazy, irrational or unstable.
  • Using a mask of confidence, assertiveness, and/or fake compassion to make you believe that you “have it all wrong.” Therefore, eventually, you begin to doubt yourself and believe their version of past events.
  • Changing the subject. The gaslighter may divert the topic by asking another question, or making a statement usually directed at your thoughts, e.g. “You’re imagining things—that never happened!”  “No, you’re wrong, you didn’t remember right.”  “Is that another crazy idea you got from your (family member/friend)?”
  • Minimizing.  By trivializing how you feel and what you think, the gaslighter gains more and more power over you, e.g. “Why are you being so sensitive?” “You don’t need to get angry over a little thing like that!” “I was just joking around, why are you taking things so seriously?”
  • Denial and avoidance. By refusing to acknowledge your feelings and thoughts, the gaslighter causes you to doubt yourself more and more.  For example, “I don’t remember that, you must have dreamt it!” “You’re lying, I never said that.” “I don’t know what you’re talking about, you’re changing the subject.”
  • Twisting and reframing. When the gaslighter confidently and subtly twists and reframes what was said or done in their favor, they can cause you to second-guess yourself—especially when paired with fake compassion, making you feel as though you are “unstable,” “irrational,” and so forth.  For example, “I didn’t say that, I said _____” “I didn’t beat you up Johnny, I just gave you a smack around the head—that’s what all good fathers do.”  “If you remember correctly, I was actually trying to help you.”

Be strong. Be committed to your values, morals and boundaries. Do not let the narcissist turn you into a needy, insecure, codependent puppet they can play with.

By J. Hihi @Copyright2019

Water Signs: Pisces, Cancer, Scorpio Have Avoidant Personality Types

avoidant-personality-shy-self-esteem

Hate is a strong word.

But it’s almost an understatement when trying to describe the level of pity I feel for water signs (Pisces, Scorpio, Cancer) Especially when they try to manipulate me with their watery schemes disguised as charm and mystery.

I hold my breath dealing with people born in the water element. I’ve learned how to come up for air before I drowned dealing with water signs. Water signs invented love bombing. Unfortunately, they also invented devaluation and discard once they come to terms with reality when their unjustified and exaggerated emotions meet head on with reality.

Yes, I am a water sign survivor!

Scorpio is my favorite water sign because they are fixed. Yes, I know I wrote a blog about how much I hate them. However, they are the lesser of the two evils; Cancer and Pisces.

I tend to get along much better with zodiac signs born after Libra. Typically Scorpio, Sag, Capricorn, Aquarius and Pisces.

Needless to say, Cancer is my least favorite water signs! They are the astrological adolescnence stuck at the pre-teen age esoterically for life. This is why they are such moody, hormonal, sensitive, egotistical, selfish signs that ever existed.

People

Jussie Smollett is a Cancer. They do childish things that mock other people’s pain and tragedies without feeling a grain of remorse. Cancers can act out emotions and feelings but have a very difficult time authentically feeling emotions and feelings although modern day astrologers will have you believing Cancers some how mastered emotions… they have not!

Needless to say, there’s no wonder the water sign Cancer is the most booked criminal according to the FBI.

However, they have mastered acting out and mocking the emotions of others. This is why they are some of the world’s greatest actors and actresses. Don’t believe me? Google “Actors who are Cancers” The line up is impressive!

I am not sure what is going on in the universe, but I am single and dating now… and everyone I attract is either a Cancer, Scorpio or Pisces. There are a few Gemini’s sprinkled in the mix. Not very good options at all. I often consider lately if God is punishing me!

Two Reason Water Signs Embrace Avoidance

water-element

#1 Water signs make decisions based on emotion.

Emotionally charged decisions are usually the worst decisions one will make in their lifetime. Feelings and emotions fluctuate. It’s better to act when emotions aren’t clouding logic. Emotional decisions usually lead to passion crimes, heinous jealous acts, bad financial decisions and chaotic relationship habits. I highly recommend that every water sign learn how to meditate, focus on thoughts and emotions while allowing themselves to calm down before making drastic decisions based on temporary and petty feelings!

If you can make a water sign always feel good, you can literally get them to do ANYTHING for you regardless of how deplorable it is!

They act on feelings. The issue is feelings aren’t always grounded in reality. Feelings can come from negative thought patterns and fear. This is why most water signs are highly unpredictable and can change their mind at the drop of a dime. Feelings don’t always make sense but water signs don’t care about making sense… they only care about how things makes them feel.

“If it feels good it can’t be wrong!”

-Said every unfaithful and untrustworthy water sign.

#2 Overactive Imagination. Water signs live in every dimension.

Water signs are limitless. They don’t just see things on the earthly, material plane. This is a curse and a blessing. For the water signs living in their dark side it makes them unable to see the reality of a situation. They make situations what they want them to be and ignore what they actually are.

The overactive imagination paints pictures of sunshine and rainbows or doom and gloom and no amount of logical explaining can take the water sign off of cloud nine.

To communicate with a water sign start your sentences off with the following words: “I feel” Never say, “According to” or cite a logical reference that would insert FACTS into the conversation. They don’t care about facts. There’s something both beautiful and disturbing about that…

This is what makes water signs avoidant. They are so unbelievably imaginative and clever that they can snatch you from reality and bring you into their fictitious dream world that feels real!

Water signs can persuade others to avoid reality and responsibility by overemphasizing the importance of feelings.

In conclusion, water signs can go years avoiding problems hoping that those problems just go away. Water signs can escape those problems by quickly jumping into rebound relationships after break ups or worse… turning to drugs, alcohol or fetishes. ANYTHING to avoid reality! After all, to the dreamy water signs, reality is nothing but a myth that can be disputed, refuted and transmuted!

Unfortunately, most water signs suffer from Toxic Positivity.

Thinking positive is great but negative thinking can prevent disastrous events from occurring. It can serve as a protection mechanism when necessary. I believe Scorpio understands this. However, Pisces & Cancer have a difficult time comprehending why negativity is necessary at all.

If you’re dealing with a water sign understand and accept that they have an avoidant personality type. If their feelings change for you, they will probably ghost and leave you without closure.

Water signs don’t believe in the gift of goodbye. Besides, what if they need you in the future or what if they were wrong about you and want to come back to you in a few months or years?

All water signs have an open door policy. Don’t hate the water sign. Hate the game.

By J.Hihi @Copyright 2019

 

 

What’s the Real Problem? Your Self-Esteem or The Narcissist?

self-esteem.jpg

This question came to mind today while I read a post from a victim of narcissistic abuse in a private facebook group.

Since the narcissist isn’t putting a gun to your head forcing you to be in a relationship with them, why do victims often choose to stay?

Is the determining factor self-esteem?

Why is it that some women can walk away from a narcissist in a heartbeat at the first sign of mental, emotional or verbal abuse (Devaluation stage) but other women cannot?

The only plausible answer is self-esteem.

Women with high self-esteem easily find the courage to leave at the first signs of abuse. They usually don’t stick around waiting for things to change because their self-esteem reminds them that they can do better.

If your self-esteem is telling you that you can’t do any better than the narcissist, more than likely the real culprit is your lack of self-worth, not so much the narcissist’s abuse.

Afterall, there’s only so many times they should be allowed to manipulate us until we see the ugly truth of who they are and walk away once and for all.

Today, ask yourself what’s the real reason you stay trapped in a relationship with a narcissist?

Is it because YOU don’t believe YOU have the strength to walk away?

Is it because YOU don’t feel YOU can do any better?

Journal the answer and reflect on that. Feel free to comment below!

Remember…

“What really frightens and dismays us is not external events themselves, but the way in which we think about them. It is not people that disturb us, but our interpretation of their significance.”
― Epictetus

Self-esteem is determined by how we rate others significance to our existence. Are you putting the narcissist on a pedestal by exaggerating their significance in your life?

It seems as though victims of narcissistic abuse idealize the narcissist to justify why they continue to accept narcissistic abuse. Today, stop idealizing the narcissist and see them for who they are. More importantly, look in the mirror and see you for who you are. You deserve better!

Sincerely,

J. HIhi @Copyright 2019

It’s Your Responsibility to Heal from What the Narcissist Did to You

I’ve been there! I wanted the narcissist to pay for what he did to me and how horrible he made me feel.

But nothing I did to try to make him pay worked. I was still hurt.

I waited for karma to come in and serve him a cold dish. That never happened!

What goes around doesn’t always come back around.

And we make it an obsession to see if it does.

It may be their fault for manipulating you.

BUT it’s your responsibility to heal from the pain, move on and become a wiser and stronger person because of it.

That won’t happen after you see the narcissist get what they deserve. It will only happen when you turn inward and hyper focus on your own healing.

Taking responsibility is not an admission of guilt. It’s total acceptance that only you have the power to heal yourself.

As long as you keep blaming the narcissist the more ammunition they have to keep you stuck in victim mode, paralyzed spiritually.

It may not feel like it now, but there’s a blessing in the mess the narcissist caused in your life. You are about to awaken to your truth!

Today, forget about whose fault it is… instead take responsibility and work hard to change the way you feel. Check out the video from Will Smith that inspired my blog. “Fault vs Responsibility”

eBook Release: How to Defeat a Narcissist

23192126_10210135430012789_1594332782_o

  • Are you or a loved one trapped in a relationship with a Narcissist?
  • Are you struggling to find a way to beat them and escape the trap they set to ensnare you? 

    Do you want to live a happier and more fulfilling life?

    Living in a relationship, where fear, anger, hurt and low self-esteem are the tools that are used to keep you is dangerous! For most of us, we want loving and secure relationships in which we are equal. But that isn’t what the Narcissist wants.

    It’s time to take back your power.

    This book will breakdown narcissistic myths and replace them with raw and unfiltered facts that will arm you with the mental weaponry to take down a narcissist effortlessly. Be prepared to bookmark word for word comebacks that will shut down gaslighting, mental, and verbal abuse.

More importantly, learning how to deal with narcissists in general is crucial to maintaining happiness and well-being. It serves as a lifetime guide to finding and developing healthy relationships.

This book will reveal the glitch in the narcissistic matrix. It’s your way out! For far too long, victims of narcissistic abuse played checkers while the narcissist was playing chess.

It’s time to upgrade your game and play to win! Are you ready to heal for real?

In this book, you will find your own set of tools to use to reclaim your life and heal from narcissistic abuse to emerge smarter & stronger than ever before.

This book will cover the topics listed below and much more…

-The number one characteristic that defines a Narcissist
-Why they pursued you
-How to deal with a narcissist you can’t discard (Family, coworkers)
-How to shut down gaslighting
-Recognizing and defeating love bombing
-Projection as a means of manipulation
-Why the Narcissist must keep you afraid of losing them
-Healing from Narcissistic abuse
-How to manipulate the narcissist
-How to discard the narcissist before they discard you
-How to properly unmask a narcissist
-The physical, mental & Spiritual Consequences of narcissistic abuse

It’s time to fight back and this book will show you exactly how to do it!

Read an excerpt from the books introduction below…

Narcissist are always reinventing their craft. Narcissist are like bacteria. Once exposed to an antibiotic they recreate themselves to adapt to the new environment. As they advance in recreation, we must too! Once an individual reveals their narcissistic ways it’s too late because at that point the victim has already fell in love with a lie. Removing the venom from the bite of narcissistic abuse is painful but it’s possible.

The first round of the fight with a narcissist is a game of hide and seek. The narcissist is pretending to be someone they’re not, do you have the knowledge to see through their smoke screen?”

Click here to Purchase and/or look inside the eBook listed on Amazon

Paperback and audible version coming soon!

Sincerely,

J.HIhi @Copyright 2019

Just Leave: The Timing is Never Going to Be Right

8294-I-m-Leaving

I looked through some of my old diaries today. I finally had some time to reflect on what I’ve been through but most importantly what I was strong enough to overcome.

When I was faced with the decision to leave toxic relationships, the timing was always bad and the circumstances, even worse.

I learned the hard way that there is never a perfect time to leave. There’s never a good time or a more convenient day. Today is the only day. Tomorrow is not promised and yesterday is dust lingering, quickly fading. Gone.

If you’re in a toxic relationships and you’re telling yourself, “I’ll wait until I get a job, I’ll wait until I save more money, or I’ll wait to see if he changes…” Stop prolonging the inevitable. You will need to leave eventually. You can’t continue to breath poison and survive. Leave now!

Either you’ll get discarded by the narcissist and have no choice but to move on or you will reach your breaking point and be forced to leave!

The funny thing about finally deciding to really leave is that when you build up the courage, the circumstances couldn’t be more dire.

But wait…

This is your chance to live the courageousness that you feel. This is the time to push through and make due with tears streaming down your face and uncertainty overwhelming you…

Sometimes we don’t have an exit plan. Sometimes the only exit plan is to GO! We make a plan as we go along. If you have to stay in a women’s shelter, live with a family member or friend or drive across the country for refuge. Just go!

And somehow, with the grace of God, when we leave doors begin to open. Resources become available, helpers come along the way to assist us in our struggle of rebirth mentally, physically and financially.

It’s a journey.

There isn’t a map you can download… No GPS to guide you- Just courage, faith and determination!

Nothing is holding you back.

Just.

Leave.

Please share in the comment section if you’re a survivor of narcissistic abuse and how you decided to leave… what was your breaking point? What obstacles did you face? Most importantly, how did you overcome? Your stories will inspire others! I look forward to reading!

By Janell Hihi @Copyright 2019