The Anger & Resentment of Settling for Less

resentment

The Number 1 symptom you’re settling for less!

You feel like you’re fighting an uphill battle.

“None of us should expect to tiptoe through tulips all day long, but if you spend most of your time trying to fix, alter, or cope with a situation, there is a good chance it’s not the right one for you. Joy is a natural outcome of being where you should be. So if you’re constantly struggling to feel good, it’s probably time for a change.” Iyanla Vanzant

The saying holds true for a reason, “Never settle for less than what you deserve,”

Settling for less than what you want in a relationship leads to inner hostility, anger and resentment.

Holding a vision of the type of relationship you want but accepting less in reality creates conflicting inner dialogue that will eventually sabotage your relationship.

If you find yourself breaking up and making up with your partner. You’re settling. Oscillating between settling and temporarily breaking up to justify your need to not settle just to take them back and settle again.

What’s worse is feeling self esteem drop a few notches like a plane that was cruising but is now experiencing violent turbulence. Why is that? Because we failed to live up to the promises we made to ourselves by compromising with others.

Whatever we settled for will permanently end eventually end because it’s not what we wanted to begin with.

It’s far better to never start sub-par relationships by passing on them altogether rather than creating more pain and heartache by lowering standards to satisfy the temporary emotion of neediness.

All that’s needed is patience, faith and the ability to say no thanks!

If you order a steak but the waiter comes back and offers you beef flavored Ramen Noodles instead, will you accept it just to be nice and avoid conflict? Will you sacrifice what you want to give others what they want?

Can others easily talk you out of what you want? Are your standards easily lowered to appease others? Or do you think you can turn noodles into steak by forcing people to change?

Do you have the courage and patience to wait for your steak?

Sure, your stomach is growling with ravaging hunger and you really want to eat. However, you have to decide if instant gratification is better than long term fulfillment.

Steak or Noodles. You Decide!

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J. Hihi

Copyright@2018

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If Someone Truly Wants to Be in Your Life They Will Do Whatever it Takes

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Letting go free’s you.

It allows other people the opportunity to show you how much you mean to them.

If someone truly wants to be in your life, they will do whatever it takes. No excuses!

Again, if someone truly wants to be in your life they will do whatever it takes!

NO. EXCUSES.

Make that your mantra.

Their action or lack of action, is the bittersweet answer. The answer is what it is. Some people come in your life who are meant to leave, some are meant to stay and there is nothing we can do about it.

Surrender control and move on fast!

Accept your part in it. Did you settle for less than what you really want? Did you ignore red flags? Learn. Do better next time!

Acceptance is a small quiet room. Sit there for awhile, be still, then get out and live your best life!

J. Hihi

Copyright@2018

Astrological Humor: How to Understand Gemini Woman

Disclaimer: Traits below describe a DARK-SIDE Female Gemini. 

How-a-Gemini-Woman-Matches-with-Men-Based-on-Their-Zodiac-SignIf you didn’t make it to advanced calculus in high school or college, unfortunately you will be unable to comprehend the depth of complexity this paradoxical, psychotic, feminine seductress is made of.

The Gemini women is the 8th wonder of the world. 

She is only to be loved “temporarily.” The Gemini is the best sign for a one night stand. Ghosting a Gemini after a night of fun will leave you with a happy and positive memory of them. If you give them anymore of your precious time and attention, get ready to voluntarily admit yourself to a mental asylum within 90 days of the relationship.

I mean the relationshit… Oh no I mean the situationship. Whatever you have with a Gemini is far from the norm and frequently changes depending on how the Gemini feels that day. One minute they’re head over heels in love with you, the next they need their space!

Gemini invented the on and off again relationship.

The only thing constant with the Gemini man or woman is change. Not the kind of change that evolves the soul (although they will try to sell you on how constant change is the way of the universe) But change that shakes you up, causes complete chaos and unrest in your life.

Key thing to remember about Gemini’s in general:

They are not family oriented people. They are not people you marry and start a family with. They are the people you meet at night clubs while highly intoxicated, looking for a night of fun!

You will never, ever be able to figure her out. She can’t even figure herself out. She’s an air sign who is mutable and her esoteric age is the child of the zodiac. Good luck with that!

Her physical beauty will draw you in, and her mind will fascinate you! But after the smoke clears and her inconsistencies and hypocrisies are evident, most men are simply annoyed by her unconventional bullshit.

She’s very creative, has beautiful eyes, but also very unreliable and inconsistent. She lives her life by impulse and desire. Standards, morals and values don’t matter to this “go with the flow” hippie spirited and uninhibited women.

She’s extremely liberal. Conservatism in any form is repulsive. She can’t conform to anything or anyone. If she does it’s temporary or spread out in several increments.

She believes in world peace and is naive enough to think it will actually happen one day. It’s very child-like, innocent and adorable and it’s part of her fierce magnetism that makes us all gravitate towards her.

Her relationships and even her marriage is on again and off again. One minute she’s devoted to her man, the next she’s free and flirty. Following that phase she’s withdrawn and out wandering if the grass is really greener on the other side.

After she returns from the wilderness unable to find anyone to hold her attention she becomes the devoted wife or girlfriend again. And the cycle of mind-fuckery continues.

What respectable man is willing to deal with that level of crazy? 

Don’t hold your breath thinking she’ll stay one way. She’s going to change again and again. At first it’s sexy, seductive and exciting. Later in the relationship it’s exhausting, stressful and not worth pursuing.

She doesn’t usually change for the good. It’s usually a bipolar, schizophrenic type of change that exhibits completely contradicting personalities.

You’ll need therapy when the relationship ends. 

Whatever happens don’t you dare blame her. She is always innocent despite any hard evidence of her wrong doing you present.

The perpetual victim

If you hurt her she will never forgive you. She will cry, sob, endlessly post idiotic quotes and memes on Facebook reflecting her questionable mental state.

What’s worse is she uses how others hurt her as ammo and justification for all the immoral things she was planning on doing all along. It’s not out of revenge because she was planning to sleep with your co-worker Larry 4 months before she discovered you lied about having a drink with an old female friend.

She’s advanced in the art of manipulation and will weave a web of deception so intricate even Einstein couldn’t figure out. She’s sharp, amazingly witty and uses every detail and nuance to her advantage.

She created the dark art of reverse pyschology. No one can pull it off quite like her… she adds feminism, charm and innocence to her next level game to get you where she wants you.

Never look into her eyes unless you don’t mind going into that sunken place!

Gemini women are very shallow. Looks matter, money matters, and material possessions matter. However, they put on a good show and appear to others as very down to earth, moral and spiritual.

They may protest using animal fur one day during an animals rights protest but the next day she’ll secretly purchase a fur mink coat and wear it on an expensive ski trip to Aspen.

Gemini’s are both material and spiritual depending on the day of the week.

Did I mention she’s an opportunist? Any man offering her a better deal or better sex is worth her throwing her wedding vows right out the window.

She’s completely irrational. Gemini’s are air signs which makes her smart, witty and mental… The Gemini women is like the elderly grandparent with dementia when it comes to them being confronted about their lies and bullshit.

The Gemini woman and man will be in and out of your life leaving out of nowhere and returning out of the blue. They are so naive they actually think others will just let them back in without an argument.

The Gemini woman feels entitled to come in and out of your life as she pleases.

Never argue with her. She will deflect, use reverse psychology and flirtation to deter you from coming to a resolution. She loves drama and she will not let any disagreement or argument come to a resolution.

She thrives on letting things fester hoping they will just go away on their own.

If things are going too good, too normal and too well… she will start drama out of thin are just to shake things up so that she’s not bored. Or she just might cheat.

I guess it depends on which twin is running the shit show inside her demented head.

If it’s the good twin she’ll start an argument about leaving the bathroom light on.

If it’s the evil twin she’ll go to a bar with a tight black dress and have unprotected sex in the bathroom with a complete stranger.

Then she’ll come home drunk crying and screaming that you don’t love her anymore.

If you ever hear her say she’s bored… you may get divorce papers from a sheriff soon. She’s a child, boredom is poison to her soul.

She doesn’t pay attention when you speak

She’s a child and because of that she is inherently self-involved and narcissistic. Unless it’s benefiting her she’ll pretend to listen to you while searching for new business ideas on her phone, texting her sister and playing with the dog at the same time.

She’ll give you half ass glances as you tell her about your day and will always appear to be distant and preoccupied. She’ll respond, “Oh, okay.” and “Nice.”

If she’s in a mood to debate and endlessly talk for hours it’s usually about herself and her next, half-ass business venture she hopes to invest in with your money.

She loves to talk about things that don’t matter like feminism, the universe, stars exploding in different galaxies, the meaning of life and whether or not lucid dreaming is worth exploring.

She’s a mindless chatterbox, neo-liberal, airhead who no one should take seriously.

I don’t care how great her overly emotional poetry is, how political and fake-woke she pretends to be, at the end of the day she is everything and nothing at the same time. Utter and complete waste of any man’s life force long-term.

She’s too open minded. Too willing to try new things to her own detriment. Too willing to risk it all on a whim, including your life savings! Proceed with caution!

Apparently everything she does is for a good cause. It’s over the top, fake, and annoying. She’s that individual we all hate, the one who fights for abused children but abuses the kids in her 1st Grade classroom. WHY?

She’ll date a guy she needs to help out financially to be his savior for ego gratification. When he uses her for all her resources she’ll cry bloody murder and take it out on the next guy she dates by refusing to trust again.

Gemini’s aren’t the best parents.

Her children are extensions of her and if they appear to be embarrassing in any way she will hide them and project her odd and non-maternal feelings towards her child onto the father.

Whatever Gemini’s feel bad about they project onto their partner. If they don’t feel close to their children, they will blame the father for not being close to their children. If they’re cheating, they will accuse their spouse of cheating.

If you’re happily married to a Gemini woman and she’s pregnant, don’t be surprised if you get a call from the producers from the Murray Povich show to attend a maternity test showdown airing live next week.

Are you the father? Or is it your best friend Jeff?

How do you know a Gemini woman loves you?

She cries, argues and goes into a verbal rage when she is upset or hurt. If she doesn’t show extreme emotion your probably just a phase.

She is unattainable in the worst way unless she is treating very badly. Gemini women don’t respect good men and they are not aroused by them. If they are married to a nice guy they will cheat and cheat repeatedly throughout the marriage.

The Gemini woman will only fall in love with the man that disregards her and disrespects her. If you’re a narcissist this women is the best candidate to take your abuse and smile while doing so.

Gemini’s are masochist

A masochist is a person who enjoys to feel pain. The more a man hurts her the more attracted she will be to him.

Most people will deny this astrological fact but being raised by two Gemini parents and studying astrology for the last 20 years, I think I’m qualified to generalize this astrological atrocity that we call Gemini.

Gemini’s can’t be tamed because they are mutable air. They change every 5 minutes. You can’t tame something that is formless.

She’ll have a new passion every 3 months. It’s cute at first to see how expressive and creative her mind is. First she’s a real estate agent, then a singer, then a travel agent and now a bitcoin investor.

If you don’t support each endeavor with your attention and money she’ll call you a hater or an unsupportive spouse.

Sooner rather than later in the relationship living with her will feel like you’re stuck in a circus with killer clowns.

Honestly, Gemini’s live up to all the negative stereotypes associated with them. Unfortunately, if you’re a man reading this it’s probably too late. May your sanity rest in peace.

J.Hihi @copyright 2018

Healing From Narcissistic Abuse

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He hurt you. You grieved, fussed, complained and cried.It’s over. Is it time to let go and move forward?

Are you afraid to let him go or let go of the pain?

Letting go of him is the easy part, letting go of the awful ways in which he hurt you is the difficult part.

Staying attached to the pain is a form of self-punishment. Victims of abuse believe that holding on to pain is them not letting their ex partner off the hook so easily. However, it’s the opposite… Victims of abuse are so accustomed to feeling pain, anxiety and punishment that when the relationship ends with the narcissist they go on continuing to hurt and abuse themselves with thought and behavior patterns that perpetuate self-sabotage.

I’ve coached so many women who are complacent in their pain. Gripped by it’s confines because feeling pain is their new normal.

Feeling pain is their comfort zone. Whether it started in their childhood and resurfaced in their adult relationships, it’s there. It’s palpable.

Their palate is accustomed to the familiar taste of pain. They are afraid to grow past it. To use it for their rise rather than sulking in it.

The best advise I can give to women healing from mental and emotional abuse is to do one thing everyday that scares you.

You’re no longer broken hearted after you’ve grieved… you’re afraid!

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” – deuteronomy 31-6.

Religious or not, call it God, the universe or divine energy. Cling on to whatever you believe in to get you out of your place of fear. You’re not alone!

Practice being more courageous in your own life until bravery becomes a habit.

What can you do today that will take you out of your comfort zone? The more you explore other spaces to be in the faster your heart will learn to love again. We go back, we replay stories in our head and re-experience trauma because walking through a new door is so frightening.

Ask yourself this “Are still in love with your ex or are you just afraid to move forward with your life?”

Remember…

The price of anything is the amount of life we exchange for it.

– Henry David Thoreau

How many more days will you spend reliving the past instead tasting the sweet nectar of the future?

It’s time to…

Let

It

Go!

By Janell Hihi @Copyright2018

The Female Ego Exaggerates The Power of Sex

Unfortunately, society only emphasizes the size of the male ego which distracts from the fact that the female ego is equally inflated, if not more so.

The female ego exaggerates the power of sex. In other words, the ego puts too much emphasis on the quality of sex creating a false equivalency between love and sexual intimacy.

Beyonce’s hit song “Ego” actually praises attributes of the female ego. Often times, the male ego is criticized and looked down upon. Women who work very hard on their appearance confuse an over-emphasis on their looks with self-confidence. The truth is, self confidence is an attitude that eloquently expresses “I accept myself and I am enough as I am.”

Being incredibly physically attractive will draw men in however keeping them is accomplished by a mastery of mentalism.

Mature women understand that their looks is only one third of their total package.

However, all women, regardless of how overly identified they may be with their ego believe that their femininity and sexual prowess give them hypnotic power over a man in the longterm. Instead, the opposite effect occurs because men can see through the smoke screen and the more sexually expressive a women is at the very beginning of a relationship with a man, the more suspicious he will become of her intentions and overall character.

In the short-term seducing a man by engaging in sexual activity with him too soon may appear to have some minuscule affect on him. Unfortunately, the effect is like a sugar rush or a temporary high from a drug. Once he comes down from the high, a women’s so-called sexual power fades rather quickly.

Unfortunately, some women have sex with men too soon because their ego misleads them into thinking their sexual skills will lock down a man and keep him interested.

Regardless of how great the chemistry may be, women look at sex as a way to keep a man and men look at sex as a way to scratch an itch and keep it moving.

Women who are in their masculine energy see sex as a free-will, go with the flow, “If it feels right do it,” mentality instead of seeing herself as a prize to be earned.

The same women who preach they have a “Free will” to haves sex and see what happens next are the same women in my inbox crying because they were ghosted. In one instance they preach going with the flow and letting sex happen naturally without an agenda. In the other instance they get very angry, sad and depressed when they don’t get a call back from the guy they had sex with on the second date.

I noticed these women have hidden expectations that don’t come to the surface until their casual sex expeditions don’t end the way they secretly wanted them too. These women really want love but are too identified in their ego. Instead of having the confidence to be assertive and tell a man that they’re looking for a relationship, they act aloof and indifferent to the idea of having a relationship.

The ego creates passive, aggressive and erratic behavior patterns in women because the ego is the instigator in the fight between her heart and her mind.

The ego makes the women believe all she has to offer is her body and her body is therefore over emphasized in value. She believes once she “Puts it on him” he’ll be hooked on her forever. The audacity!

As if casual sex isn’t as easy for a man as it for a women in today’s society. For every “free will, go with the flow, ride or die chick” willingly participating in casual sex with no strings attached, there’s a women who is not identified with her ego who will make a man invest in her before she sleeps with him. This is the women he is secretly and eagerly pursing.

How do you know if you’re too identified with your ego?

  1. You hate to lose more than you love to win. Being ghosted hurts your ego more than it hurts your heart if you say to yourself things like “But the sex was so good I had him calling out my name, how could he ghost me?”
  2. You let compliments get to your head. If you find yourself extra giddy and happy when you receive a compliment from your crush it’s your ego receiving validation and gratification. If you’re blind-sighted to the games men play because you’re infatuated by his flattery you’ll fail to see his true intentions.
  3. You talk about yourself for 10 minutes before asking another how they are.  An unwillingness to engage in a mutual conversation is the ego’s fight to be heard. If your partner know more about you than you know about them it’s not that their less willing to share. It’s that your unwilling to listen and ask inquisitive questions due to a preoccupation with yourself and your own thoughts and interests.
  4. You’re too defensive. If you easily feel attacked by other people it’s a sign of insecurity and an inflated ego. It’s easy to take it personally when people simply differ in opinion. Constructive criticism is more insulting than destructive criticism and you have a laundry list of excuses for all of your actions.
  5. You stopped learning. If you don’t read books because you think you already know everything, you’re too identified with your ego. Trying new things is nonsense to you and the only activities that interest you are superficial and material.
  6. A Sense of Entitlement. You think you’re more special than most people. Everyone is special in their own right but you believe that God gave you a better gift than everyone else. You’ve been anointed like a prophet therefore people should automatically see your worth and treat you like a queen because like Jesus, there’s just something powerful about you and you only!
  7. You can’t comprehend rejection. It takes women with huge egos forever to get over a break up. Why? Because they think they’re so special that no man in his right mind would ever leave them. If they see their ex with another women that they deem less attractive than them, they won’t be able to get over the fact that he “downgraded” not understanding that a women has much more than looks to offer a man. She is unable to comprehend that there are other great women in the world besides herself. Instead of focusing on her own life the women with an inflated ego obsessively compares herself to other women.
  8. You competes with everyone. The ego wants to compare itself with everyone both male and female. The comparison leads to competition. Women with big egos feel a  need to appear better than everyone else. This is why she is intolerable to be around. She constantly needs attention to feed her ego and validation from others that she is as great as she believes herself to be.

Listen, you’re not Rihanna, Sex with you i s not amazing (Listen to that song) and it won’t show a man your value. He won’t get hooked on you because there’s good chemistry. Sex is good most of the time, but it’s best between two people who took the time to get to know each other and love each other.

So get your head out of your vagina and work on being his main course not just dessert.

By Janell Hihi @Copyright2018

Facebook Asked Me for a Copy of My Driver’s License.

First of all, Zuckerberg looks like a Reptilian, android drone who wishes to colonize and distribute other people’s data like a thirsty, Chicago pimp. His body language at the congressional meeting was detached and non-emotional.

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Like most tech companies. Facebook was created and engineered to be addictive to the users. Facebook is an ethereal drug hooking people and stealing their most valuable asset – TIME.

Like candy, sugar, caffeine, gambling, and Heroine… Anyone creating a product or service to addict people is an imminent threat to humanity.

Zuckerberg has access to 70% of the worlds data at the tip of his fingers. Is Facebook connecting the world? Or is it connecting data to distribute to corporate America and the government?

It’s amazing how these tech companies use algorithisms as a scapegoat for their own deceptive behavior. Algorithisms are created. Therefore the creators of those bias and dangerous algorithisms should be at fault.

I was a victim of the data breach with Cambridge Analytical and Facebook. Below is a screen shot of the generic and impersonal, notification Facebook sent to me.

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Every time I log onto Facebook and begin scrolling, I actually feel less connected to people. Facebook’s business model is a con. It connects you to people artificially.

These Silicon Valley data handlers are soul-less hustlers looking to humanize technology. Unfortunately, there is no substitute for face to face human interaction.

I officially deactivated my Facebook account for several reasons. Not only is it a time-sucking, blackhole of endless scrolling down narcissistic news feeds. It thrives off a business model that sells users information to companies.

Facebook sells your data to anyone willing to buy. 

Don’t take my word for it. Listen to this whistle blowers testimony who is a former data scientist from Cambridge Analytical confessing how he helped them misuse stolen data which comprised our democracy.

Mark Zuckerberg, the Taurus who will attain wealth, power and internet monopoly by any means necessary is fully indoctrinated into the elite class of the world. Therefore, any establishment he is affiliated with should raise their brows in suspicion.

Facebook asked me to send a copy of my Drivers License. They suspended my account until I sent a copy of it. How incredibly invasive is that?

If Facebook is purely a “Social Network” Why would I need to send a copy of my drivers license? They are connected to the government. Facebook founder was just held responsible for selling your data to analytical companies that drastically affected the outcome of the elections.

Facebook is a Monster.

The only way to beat Facebook at it’s own game is to create fake profiles. Use a fake email address, a fake name and use it for business purposes only.

Never like, or comment on anything. Do not add any friends or family. Don’t upload any pictures of yourself, family or friends. Just create a business/fan page with a brand name, not your real name and get your prospective customers to like your page. Post only businesses related articles.

It’s better not to have a newsfeed at all. Otherwise you’ll be overwhelmed with meaningless content, selfies, inspirational quotes and cries for attention from people you barely see in real life.

If they ask you to send a copy of your ID. Create another account instead of sending your ID. Easy enough!

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All we can do is offset Facebook and litter it with fake profiles and fake data. Facebook can sell that fake data to companies and hopefully lose money in the end because that fake data won’t yield capital for the companies buying the information.

Everyone wins right? 

End your social media addiction and unplug from this soul sucking matrix devouring your time and energy. After all, we are all data slaves being bought and sold as we meaninglessly post, like, share and scroll down a black hole.

By Janell Hihi Copyright@2018

Never Date the Guy Who Doesn’t Believe in Anything

Beware of the guy who doesn’t believe in ANYTHING.

He’s deceiving because he comes off as very liberal, free-thinking and unconcerned with tradition, trends and societal norms.

He’s that guy who will protest for any cause and pose as a champion for equality, human rights, environmental concerns, animal rights, women’s rights and gun control.

However, the extent of his activism never goes beyond holding up signs at protest, wearing hats shaped like vaginas and posting political memes on Facebook that gives him attention so he can waste hours or even days engaged in debates.

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You won’t see him writing bills to present to congress or running for office. That requires real action, conviction, commitment and passion. All of which he lacks!

Basically, the “I don’t believe in anything” guy is a covert narcissist at best who is more concerned with appearing liberal and fair instead of actually being liberal, just, and fair in real life!

He claims he doesn’t believe in religion but his religion, in fact, is Impression Management! He lives to make impressions instead of actually developing his character.

He comes off as a very concerned citizen who cares about the livelihood of everyone and everything. In the beginning it’s attractive, but overtime it’s an incredibly feminine attribute most women will eventually find repulsive.

Unfortunately, all of his free spirited beliefs will limit how far your relationship with him will progress.

If you ask him about marriage. He will tell you he doesn’t believe in marriage. He’ll say the divorce rate is too high, marriage is dead, marriage is bondage, and marriage is reserved strictly for religious purposes.

If you’re lucky he may even reveal that he believes marriage is only for the benefit of women and puts men at risk of losing everything.

Unfortunately, a quick Google search could debunk his irrational fears. Dozens of studies show that married men earn between 10 and 50 percent more than their unmarried peers and accumulate more wealth overtime despite multiple divorces!

U.S. Census Bureau data bear this out. Full-time median income for married men ages 18-64 years old in 2011 was $55,958, as compared to $40,489 for married women, $34,634 for single men and $32,593 for single women, according to the Current Population Survey 2012 Annual Social and Economic Supplement.

Besides, with prenuptial agreements, any man claiming their afraid of marriage because they fear losing everything they worked for is likely just full of shit.

The truth underneath all that hot air is that he does not want to be a provider nor does he want to be responsible for a family or feel pressured under the commitment of marriage.

He’s a proud feminist. He believe women and men are the same, despite the fact that women still don’t make as much money as men in the same professions. He’ll expect a women to provide 50/50 or take care him 100%.

His philosophy is simple. If men can do it, women can do it. If men work, women work. If a man can lift 100 pounds, a women should lift 100 pounds…

Men and women are not the same. Neither gender is better then the other, we are just different. Males and females have different strengths and weaknesses but liberal, beta males put new age theories over the system nature already established simply for their own benefit!

The atheist, liberal, new age, Namaste, hippie is the worst relationship partner.

He will convince a girl to have unprotected sex with him because it feels organic and then when he gets her pregnant he will evade any responsibility. He believes in going with the flow, not going with morals and standards. He thinks values, standards and expectations are conservative. When in fact, standards and values have nothing to do with conservatism or liberalism, it pertains to one’s character.

Since he is pro choice and believes in abortion he will drop his girlfriend or fuck buddy off at the abortion clinic and make her take an Uber back home after he demands her to get an abortion because he’s not ready to have kids.

He will talk about her to his friends and call her irresponsible for allowing herself to get pregnant as if he didn’t contribute his sperm willingly.

He’s always ready to have unprotected sex with any women who is willing. After all, he is a free spirit and shouldn’t have to answer to anyone! Especially a women.

He supports planned parenthood but won’t utilize the free birth control they offer.

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This type of man only believes in ideologies that will allow him to escape responsibility. He’s a closet narcissist. He’s not prochoice because he loves women, he’s pro choice so that he can have unprotected sex and use abortion as a form of birth control instead of putting on a condom.

He doesn’t believe in titles.

He doesn’t want to be a boyfriend or a husband unless there’s a direct tangible benefit. He wants to be absolutely free from commitment because commitment is responsibility. He will expect boyfriend treatment without giving a woman the girlfriend title. It’s always something for nothing with this type of guy.

He believes single mothers are not worthy dating prospects.

This is exactly why he might just have a baby mama that he owes over $10,000 in back pay for child support. If he doesn’t have kids, I assure you if he is not fixed that there is at least 3 ex girlfriends who’ve had multiple abortions for him.

He has no problem creating a single mother by having unprotected sex with a women he has no plans to be with… If she gets pregnant and doesn’t have an abortion he will have no problem ignoring her and the child for the rest of his life.

He’ll often post his check stubs on social media showing how much money child support took out of his check and complain that the money is going towards his baby mama’s hair and nails. It’s really pathetic!

He will make a vow to himself not to ever date a single mother because they are not compliant to abortion demands from their boyfriends. He will berate the single mother for not getting married before she had kids, and in the same breath express his opinion as to why he thinks the institution of marriage is stupid.

He thinks women should be able have children unwed if they want to and he believes there is nothing wrong with single parent households because women can handle raising a family all on their own without a man’s help!

He will often say things like, “Obama was raised by a single mother.” Which isn’t true, his grandparents practically raised him.

Single mothers are the most impoverished women in America. Married women are ten times better off. Not just for financial reasons. We all know two incomes are better then one. Married women have emotional support and assistance in raising their children.

Children from single family homes are more likely to end up in prison. How is raising a child alone a benefit to anyone?

We all end up paying for single parents through taxes because most need help. Beta males who are unwilling to be providers force the government and tax payers to fit the bill.

Ladies, don’t waste your time with that overly liberal guy who doesn’t have a back bone and is allergic to responsibility. If he doesn’t believe in anything but having the free will to have sex with everyone and avoid responsibility, what kind of husband will he make?

Oh wait, he doesn’t believe in marriage. So what type of boyfriend will he be?

He’s designated himself to the title of a fuck boy for life. Date a man who believes in something that benefits the union of men, women, family values, responsibility and commitment.

By Janell Hihi @Copyright 2018

What Every Women Should Consider Before Having a Child Before Marriage

Happy Family Standing On The Beach
Stop feeling bad for wanting to be a wife and have a family. You’re just being a WOMAN.

Personally I believe a women should never, ever, ever, have a child out of wedlock. Statistically, it’s not beneficial to the women or the child. Unfortunately, it’s become a trend and societal has suffered tremendously as a result.

Today 1 in 4 children under the age of 18 — a total of about 17.2 million — are being raised without a father.

Religion has nothing to do with it. In fact, I’m not a religious person at all.

It’s a fact that women are vulnerable in society. Thankfully in America, we have the LAW to assist us to ensure we get what we deserve if a man decides to neglect his responsibilities. However, an unwed women with children misses out on the protection of the law only married women benefit from.

The Law, unlike some of these basic women out here with NO standards… understands that men need to know there are consequences for their actions in order to behave.

It’s human nature. Women are the same. A women would run all over a man if he let her. Real men don’t tolerate nonsense from women and vice versa.

If a man asks a women to have a child for him before asking for her hand in marriage, he wants to trap her and take her off the market.

Even though he has no intentions of staying with her, he knows that once she is labeled a “baby mama” it will be more difficult for quality men to take her seriously. He will also always have access to her.

This type of men most likely goes around collecting baby mama’s ruining women and children’s lives all over the country. It’s a pathetic and narcissistic pathology that is happening because women are allowing it.

Have you noticed lately that you receive more baby shower invitations then you do marriage invitations?

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Nearly 40 percent of babies now born in America are to unmarried women. The birthrate for unmarried women in their 20s is higher than for teens. Sociologists say that these new mothers often assume that the baby will “cement” the relationship. But these arrangements rarely last.

Feminism Promotes Single Motherhood

Don’t let these so-called feminist women tell you that you can do it all on your own and you don’t need a man. You can’t do it alone successfully. Look at the statistics, single mothers are living in poverty and their children are suffering as a result. If their not living in poverty, they’re suffering psychological issues due to a lack of father and stability in their lives.

An ex wife with a child whose father is active in the child’s life is not the same as a baby mama, let’s not get it twisted!

If you had one child out of wedlock, forgive yourself and never repeat the same mistake again. 

Marriage is about security and ensuring you bare children with a man who committed to you and made vows before his friends and family regarding his love and dedication for you.

I don’t care how high the divorce rate is or what these loose millennials are doing out here… Children deserve to be born into a life with two parents who love each other and will at least try to give that child the loving, and committed family it deserves!

Sure, unmarried people stay together for years and have children. But secretly, that women who settles will resent not being a wife, regardless of how much she pretends she doesn’t believe in marriage.

A mama bear protects her cubs and ensures their safety and security. She doesn’t lay down with a boyfriend, have unprotected sex and “Accidentally” have a baby uncertain how her boyfriend will react.

Typically, he’ll be upset. He reminds the girlfriend that she’s just a girlfriend and he’s not ready to have children. Then there’s the abortions, resentment and worst of all, a total waste of time and LIFE.

Single mothers are much more likely to be poor than married couples. The poverty rate for single-mother families in 2016 was 35.6%, nearly five times more than the rate (6.6%) for married-couple families.

Among children living with mother only, 40% lived in poverty. In contrast, only 12% of children in two parent families were counted as poor.

Regardless if we like it or not, every taxpayer in America is paying for men who refuse to get married, provide for their families or pay child support. Its a shame that beta males who go around impregnating women like wild animals with an inability to think before they act is a huge burden on society as a whole!

A majority (59%) of SNAP households with children were single mother households. Only 15% received cash benefits from TANF.22Though a small percentage, they represent more than 90% of all TANF families.

I recommend every lady to get married before you have a child. Secure you’re future. Marriage is a legal protection. It’s not about love or religion. It’s about protecting the investment of your time and the wellbeing of your future children.

By Janell HIhi @Copyright2018

Avoid The 50/50 Guy

00e1c259-b0e4-4b5f-b7c2-f453bd54155bBeware of the guy who believes everything should be split 50/50.
A man who rejects his masculinity refusing to be a provider is a man who will take you out your feminine energy. Sooner, rather then later, you’ll start feeling like “The Man” in the relationship.
The feminine man feels that he shouldn’t have to be head of the household. To me, that in of itself is a major beta male turn off. I grew up in a home with a father who was an alpha male provider. I can’t comprehend the level of bullshit excuses that seep from beta-male, 50/50 men’s mouth. It’s very girly like and cringe worthy.
While dating, the 50/50 guy will also show signs that he lacks leadership skills by never knowing where to take his date.
Lazy planning and a lack of taste and culture, I guarantee you that he’ll suggest taking you to Applebee’s on your first date.
He will also play games and show a lack of decisiveness and assertiveness. Pussy footing around asking a women out and showing weakness and hesitation. If you’re over the age 30 ladies trust me you don’t have time for that!
The 50/50 guy will give a well rehearsed speech to naive women professing their dire financial situation but highlighting that they are working on getting out of debt, they don’t have much to offer now but their loyalty and their love.
They hope that their honesty about their finances will earn them pity from the women they are targeting.
Beta males want a women’s pity, alpha men want a women’s respect.
Typically, the women who gives pity to grown men who have made devastating financial and personal mistakes, has low self-esteem. Women with high standards won’t accept love based on pity. 
Loyalty and love is not enough to sustain a relationship or a marriage. Especially if the 50/50, beta male is dating out of his league. If he’s dating a girl that has better credit, makes more money, has more assets and drives a better car then him, it’s not about loyalty or love. It’s about dating a women that will help him level up.
The 50/50 guy doesn’t want the women on his level who also have major personal and financial issues. He wants the women who can potentially provide for him and can pay her own way.
He doesn’t want to build with the girl on his financial level, he wants to be taken care of by the women who is out of his league financially. He’s an opportunist at best.
I was watching the Zo Show on Youtube a few days ago and they touched on the type of women who help build up a man and then get left when he levels up by using them.
They called it “Build a Bae Workshop.” Women who like to be the hero and rescuer in a relationship are frequently in attendance at the workshop.
The 50/50 man also wants women to chase him. He lacks bravado and is afraid to pursue women because his ego is so fragile if he gets rejected he will have a mental breakdown.
If the women takes all the risk of pursuing the 50/50 man feels safe in his unnatural femininity knowing that the women is willing to be the pursuer and the provider.
Unfortunately for no fault of their own, most 50/50 did not have a father figure around growing up.
If they did it was a poor example. Mister 50-50 has no idea what he’s doing because no one gave him the blueprint on how to be a man and a provider. They seen their mother struggle and pay for everything herself without a man’s help and they believe women are supposed to contribute if not 50%, then 100%.
So when the 50/50 man meets a women who demands him to step up, be a provider and take leadership and responsibility- she’s a gold digger, user, bitch, etc
But the same man will slut shame a women who is loose, easy and has kids out of wedlock… the contradiction is real! He wouldn’t seriously date a women who had various kids by different baby daddy’s and he doesn’t want a promiscuous women who will sleep with him on the first date.
The 50/50 Man does not really want women who will accept them as they are. They want the type of women who wants the men who have something going for himself. Those are the women the 50/50 guy stares at with secret desire as your standing next to them in public.
If you’re dating a guy in financial trouble whose about to file bankruptcy, still legally married after 8 years of separation from his wife, and has bad credit, etc., He knows the women that he can approach in his current situation and he knows the type of women who won’t give him the time of day.
He will settle for the women who will accept his 50/50 relationship ideology but he won’t respect her and he won’t feel like a man around her. It’s a bad, low value situation where both parties are settling.
Women lose more dealing with men who constantly take inventory on who pays for what and when. I dated a guy who constantly complained about money.  The truth was, he couldn’t afford to court me.
Instead of focusing on me, he should’ve stayed single and focused on getting his finances together. When the pressure was too much, we broke up. I gave him an automaton, either he commits and we move in together with him paying over 50% of the bills or I was going to leave him. I guarantee you the women he is with now is fitting half or 75% of the bill. He knows I am not the one. So the situation ended because it was supposed to.
These men are petty and they’d rather ignore the responsibility of being alone and working on improving their situation. They’d rather improve their lives using a “Pick me!” chick who is just looking for a relationship.
There’s more to a relationship than love. That’s why the majority of marriages fail for financial reasons. Think about it. Life is not a Disney fairytale.
If a man is not dating you to impress you, he see’s you as low value, roommate material. Unfortunately, he doesn’t see you as wife material. Sorry.
The 50/50 guy hates women who have high standards but also hates women with low standards. He wants the good wholesome, loyal, classy women who is overly nice and won’t demand anything from him except feelings.
Feelings that will fade and eventually get you dumped after he’s done using you. Smart women understand feelings fade but values last forever. Values are centered in vows and commitment. Not promises from boyfriends that may never materialize.
They look down on so-called independent women who’ve never been married but they don’t believe in the institution of marriage- interesting huh? Men who are providers have no problem with marriage. They carry the title of “husband” as a badge of honor.
50/50 guys only praise the women that will allow them to extract the most benefit out of them with the least amount of commitment. They’re users. Plain and simple!
Are there exceptions to this rule? Of course, unicorns do exist but the odds are against you due to the rarity.
No man should expect a women to be just like him or have the same responsibilities- we are men and women for a reason. We are created for different things.
Spare me the feminist rhetoric, it’s not femininity, it’s a con game. Women still don’t get paid in America the same wages men get paid in the same industry and career with the same experience. If women don’t get paid the same, why would she pay 50/50?
Ladies, stop allowing yourselves to be used. I had to reiterate because 70% of my emails are from women complaining about money, 50/50 men and the guy who doesn’t want marriage but wants all the benefits of marriage.
Legally, if you’re just a long term girlfriend and not a wife, you have no legal say so on how your man is buried when he dies, his inheritance, the house you lived in with him if he owned it and you were never put on the deed… his next of kin, children or parents will only have access to all of that!
And spare me the big wedding and reception as an excuse. My parents had a house party and my mother married her husband at her sisters house. My niece just married her longterm boyfriend at the courthouse and we all went to Red Lobster afterwards to celebrate.
You don’t need a big wedding to get a marriage license. But you do need to secure your future with a marriage license.
Some men won’t marry you because their already married but separated from their wife and they are too cheap and selfish to get a divorce because they don’t want to split their assets with their ex wife.
You have to extremely low self-esteem to date a man who is separated but not divorced! You’re a filler girl. Make a man come prepared and correct for you! He knows what type of women will accept his dire circumstances and which women won’t. He secretly knows you have low self esteem if you expect less then what you deserve.
I dated a separated guy while I was separated from my ex husband just to occupy myself and have a little fun. I didn’t take him seriously! I knew that was a temporary situation until I was ready to be alone and work on myself, by myself.
Match.com does not accept separated people on their website, they have to submit their divorce papers to be a member. Now you know why! Don’t be like these dusty chicks out here, be like match.com – make sure he is DIVORCED. People who are separated need to be alone to get their lives together.
I knew the type of man I really wanted wouldn’t accept me as a serious prospect because I was recently separated. Not only do I expect a man to come correct, but I will come correct with men I respect who have high standards. I’ll make sure my shit is together before expecting a man of value to take me seriously.
A man who expects a women to pay half of everything and provide financial security should look for another MAN to be in a relationship with. If he’s separated and not divorced he should be looking for booty calls not relationships…
The 50-50 man always says “I want a women who will build with me.” A real man builds by himself and once he’s stable he finds a wife to provide for to start a family and  build a legacy.
50-50 men are allergic to marriage or damaged by it. Because they are feminine men who allow failed past relationships and marriages to dictate their future behavior.
All 50/50 men are overly skeptical. In fact, all they have to offer is excuses! They won’t offer you their name in marriage or anything that will remotely benefit a women.
What’s interesting is 50/50 men always want women to submit to them. But since she’s not a wife and just a women that lives with him that has a vagina, she will never naturally submit. Her submission will be forced.
Would you submit to your boyfriend or your husband? Natural submission happens organically when a man is the head of his household and a provider.
However, 50/50 men have basic jobs and low to medium income in the first Place because they have a fear of failure.
Fear of committing to a goal or a women because they’re scared it won’t work dominates their lives. In fact, their excuse for not doing what they’re supposed to do as men is “What if it doesn’t work?”
Or my favorite, excuse “the divorce rate is too high.” Because they’re not providers they only see the emotional side of marriage. They don’t see how marriages create stability for children, secure finances and combine resources that sustains communities.
Marriage is only 30% about emotions and feelings. 
Never deal with a man who operates out of fear. Fear shrinks the brain. Makes idiots out of men! If he views marriage only as love and feelings, run!
Looks, love and feelings don’t last but 5-7 years. After that, marriage can only survive on family values, friendship and a mutual respect for the union. Feelings are fleeting, I would never bet my marriage on something so trivial and meaningless as emotions.
Avoid the 50-50 man because he is too insecure, too petty and to hell bent on splitting everything in half in constant fear of getting played that he will drain u off all your creative feminine vital energy.
And he wonders why you never feel like having sex and you have an attitude all the time- it’s because u don’t feel like a women, you lack a provider, you have to work like a man and it’s robbing you of your vital, playful and sexual feminine energy. You can’t focus on being a good mother, you’re working two jobs to pay half, or all the bills.
He’s really not happy either. He won’t be happy until he learns how to be a provider – instead he has a girl as a roommate just their existing with him on the daily grind. There’s a 99% chance he’ll cheat with a women who will make him feel like a masculine man again. That women will refuse to go 50/50 and motivate him to step up his game or step off!
Y’all can keep that struggle love, I don’t want it. As soon as a man fixes his mouth to say I believe everything should be 50/50…. I keep it moving! I’m offering more then 50% – It’s all or nothing with me.
 By Janell Hihi @Copyright2018