Healing From Narcissistic Abuse

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He hurt you. You grieved, fussed, complained and cried.It’s over. Is it time to let go and move forward?

Are you afraid to let him go or let go of the pain?

Letting go of him is the easy part, letting go of the awful ways in which he hurt you is the difficult part.

Staying attached to the pain is a form of self-punishment. Victims of abuse believe that holding on to pain is them not letting their ex partner off the hook so easily. However, it’s the opposite… Victims of abuse are so accustomed to feeling pain, anxiety and punishment that when the relationship ends with the narcissist they go on continuing to hurt and abuse themselves with thought and behavior patterns that perpetuate self-sabotage.

I’ve coached so many women who are complacent in their pain. Gripped by it’s confines because feeling pain is their new normal.

Feeling pain is their comfort zone. Whether it started in their childhood and resurfaced in their adult relationships, it’s there. It’s palpable.

Their palate is accustomed to the familiar taste of pain. They are afraid to grow past it. To use it for their rise rather than sulking in it.

The best advise I can give to women healing from mental and emotional abuse is to do one thing everyday that scares you.

You’re no longer broken hearted after you’ve grieved… you’re afraid!

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” – deuteronomy 31-6.

Religious or not, call it God, the universe or divine energy. Cling on to whatever you believe in to get you out of your place of fear. You’re not alone!

Practice being more courageous in your own life until bravery becomes a habit.

What can you do today that will take you out of your comfort zone? The more you explore other spaces to be in the faster your heart will learn to love again. We go back, we replay stories in our head and re-experience trauma because walking through a new door is so frightening.

Ask yourself this “Are still in love with your ex or are you just afraid to move forward with your life?”

Remember…

The price of anything is the amount of life we exchange for it.

– Henry David Thoreau

How many more days will you spend reliving the past instead tasting the sweet nectar of the future?

It’s time to…

Let

It

Go!

By Janell Hihi @Copyright2018

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The Female Ego Exaggerates The Power of Sex

Unfortunately, society only emphasizes the size of the male ego which distracts from the fact that the female ego is equally inflated, if not more so.

The female ego exaggerates the power of sex. In other words, the ego puts too much emphasis on the quality of sex creating a false equivalency between love and sexual intimacy.

Beyonce’s hit song “Ego” actually praises attributes of the female ego. Often times, the male ego is criticized and looked down upon. Women who work very hard on their appearance confuse an over-emphasis on their looks with self-confidence. The truth is, self confidence is an attitude that eloquently expresses “I accept myself and I am enough as I am.”

Being incredibly physically attractive will draw men in however keeping them is accomplished by a mastery of mentalism.

Mature women understand that their looks is only one third of their total package.

However, all women, regardless of how overly identified they may be with their ego believe that their femininity and sexual prowess give them hypnotic power over a man in the longterm. Instead, the opposite effect occurs because men can see through the smoke screen and the more sexually expressive a women is at the very beginning of a relationship with a man, the more suspicious he will become of her intentions and overall character.

In the short-term seducing a man by engaging in sexual activity with him too soon may appear to have some minuscule affect on him. Unfortunately, the effect is like a sugar rush or a temporary high from a drug. Once he comes down from the high, a women’s so-called sexual power fades rather quickly.

Unfortunately, some women have sex with men too soon because their ego misleads them into thinking their sexual skills will lock down a man and keep him interested.

Regardless of how great the chemistry may be, women look at sex as a way to keep a man and men look at sex as a way to scratch an itch and keep it moving.

Women who are in their masculine energy see sex as a free-will, go with the flow, “If it feels right do it,” mentality instead of seeing herself as a prize to be earned.

The same women who preach they have a “Free will” to haves sex and see what happens next are the same women in my inbox crying because they were ghosted. In one instance they preach going with the flow and letting sex happen naturally without an agenda. In the other instance they get very angry, sad and depressed when they don’t get a call back from the guy they had sex with on the second date.

I noticed these women have hidden expectations that don’t come to the surface until their casual sex expeditions don’t end the way they secretly wanted them too. These women really want love but are too identified in their ego. Instead of having the confidence to be assertive and tell a man that they’re looking for a relationship, they act aloof and indifferent to the idea of having a relationship.

The ego creates passive, aggressive and erratic behavior patterns in women because the ego is the instigator in the fight between her heart and her mind.

The ego makes the women believe all she has to offer is her body and her body is therefore over emphasized in value. She believes once she “Puts it on him” he’ll be hooked on her forever. The audacity!

As if casual sex isn’t as easy for a man as it for a women in today’s society. For every “free will, go with the flow, ride or die chick” willingly participating in casual sex with no strings attached, there’s a women who is not identified with her ego who will make a man invest in her before she sleeps with him. This is the women he is secretly and eagerly pursing.

How do you know if you’re too identified with your ego?

  1. You hate to lose more than you love to win. Being ghosted hurts your ego more than it hurts your heart if you say to yourself things like “But the sex was so good I had him calling out my name, how could he ghost me?”
  2. You let compliments get to your head. If you find yourself extra giddy and happy when you receive a compliment from your crush it’s your ego receiving validation and gratification. If you’re blind-sighted to the games men play because you’re infatuated by his flattery you’ll fail to see his true intentions.
  3. You talk about yourself for 10 minutes before asking another how they are.  An unwillingness to engage in a mutual conversation is the ego’s fight to be heard. If your partner know more about you than you know about them it’s not that their less willing to share. It’s that your unwilling to listen and ask inquisitive questions due to a preoccupation with yourself and your own thoughts and interests.
  4. You’re too defensive. If you easily feel attacked by other people it’s a sign of insecurity and an inflated ego. It’s easy to take it personally when people simply differ in opinion. Constructive criticism is more insulting than destructive criticism and you have a laundry list of excuses for all of your actions.
  5. You stopped learning. If you don’t read books because you think you already know everything, you’re too identified with your ego. Trying new things is nonsense to you and the only activities that interest you are superficial and material.
  6. A Sense of Entitlement. You think you’re more special than most people. Everyone is special in their own right but you believe that God gave you a better gift than everyone else. You’ve been anointed like a prophet therefore people should automatically see your worth and treat you like a queen because like Jesus, there’s just something powerful about you and you only!
  7. You can’t comprehend rejection. It takes women with huge egos forever to get over a break up. Why? Because they think they’re so special that no man in his right mind would ever leave them. If they see their ex with another women that they deem less attractive than them, they won’t be able to get over the fact that he “downgraded” not understanding that a women has much more than looks to offer a man. She is unable to comprehend that there are other great women in the world besides herself. Instead of focusing on her own life the women with an inflated ego obsessively compares herself to other women.
  8. You competes with everyone. The ego wants to compare itself with everyone both male and female. The comparison leads to competition. Women with big egos feel a  need to appear better than everyone else. This is why she is intolerable to be around. She constantly needs attention to feed her ego and validation from others that she is as great as she believes herself to be.

Listen, you’re not Rihanna, Sex with you i s not amazing (Listen to that song) and it won’t show a man your value. He won’t get hooked on you because there’s good chemistry. Sex is good most of the time, but it’s best between two people who took the time to get to know each other and love each other.

So get your head out of your vagina and work on being his main course not just dessert.

By Janell Hihi @Copyright2018

Facebook Asked Me for a Copy of My Driver’s License.

First of all, Zuckerberg looks like a Reptilian, android drone who wishes to colonize and distribute other people’s data like a thirsty, Chicago pimp. His body language at the congressional meeting was detached and non-emotional.

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Like most tech companies. Facebook was created and engineered to be addictive to the users. Facebook is an ethereal drug hooking people and stealing their most valuable asset – TIME.

Like candy, sugar, caffeine, gambling, and Heroine… Anyone creating a product or service to addict people is an imminent threat to humanity.

Zuckerberg has access to 70% of the worlds data at the tip of his fingers. Is Facebook connecting the world? Or is it connecting data to distribute to corporate America and the government?

It’s amazing how these tech companies use algorithisms as a scapegoat for their own deceptive behavior. Algorithisms are created. Therefore the creators of those bias and dangerous algorithisms should be at fault.

I was a victim of the data breach with Cambridge Analytical and Facebook. Below is a screen shot of the generic and impersonal, notification Facebook sent to me.

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Every time I log onto Facebook and begin scrolling, I actually feel less connected to people. Facebook’s business model is a con. It connects you to people artificially.

These Silicon Valley data handlers are soul-less hustlers looking to humanize technology. Unfortunately, there is no substitute for face to face human interaction.

I officially deactivated my Facebook account for several reasons. Not only is it a time-sucking, blackhole of endless scrolling down narcissistic news feeds. It thrives off a business model that sells users information to companies.

Facebook sells your data to anyone willing to buy. 

Don’t take my word for it. Listen to this whistle blowers testimony who is a former data scientist from Cambridge Analytical confessing how he helped them misuse stolen data which comprised our democracy.

Mark Zuckerberg, the Taurus who will attain wealth, power and internet monopoly by any means necessary is fully indoctrinated into the elite class of the world. Therefore, any establishment he is affiliated with should raise their brows in suspicion.

Facebook asked me to send a copy of my Drivers License. They suspended my account until I sent a copy of it. How incredibly invasive is that?

If Facebook is purely a “Social Network” Why would I need to send a copy of my drivers license? They are connected to the government. Facebook founder was just held responsible for selling your data to analytical companies that drastically affected the outcome of the elections.

Facebook is a Monster.

The only way to beat Facebook at it’s own game is to create fake profiles. Use a fake email address, a fake name and use it for business purposes only.

Never like, or comment on anything. Do not add any friends or family. Don’t upload any pictures of yourself, family or friends. Just create a business/fan page with a brand name, not your real name and get your prospective customers to like your page. Post only businesses related articles.

It’s better not to have a newsfeed at all. Otherwise you’ll be overwhelmed with meaningless content, selfies, inspirational quotes and cries for attention from people you barely see in real life.

If they ask you to send a copy of your ID. Create another account instead of sending your ID. Easy enough!

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All we can do is offset Facebook and litter it with fake profiles and fake data. Facebook can sell that fake data to companies and hopefully lose money in the end because that fake data won’t yield capital for the companies buying the information.

Everyone wins right? 

End your social media addiction and unplug from this soul sucking matrix devouring your time and energy. After all, we are all data slaves being bought and sold as we meaninglessly post, like, share and scroll down a black hole.

By Janell Hihi Copyright@2018

The Most Common Relationship Fears Men Have

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Top Relationship Fears Men have:

Fear of not being able to provide. Men who are financially unstable can’t make love and marriage a priority. The primary focus is obtaining financial security so he will feel secure in his role as a provider. There is no way around this. It’s not you! It’s his pockets!

Fear of a loss of individual freedom. Men fear losing their identity in relationships. They need to feel secure that the women they are with will let them have a life outside of the relationship without bitching and complaining or accusing him of cheating.

Fear of DRAMA. A tactless women who can’t control her mouth or her urge to get revenge on any perceived threat is the drama queen all men avoid. Sure he’ll sleep with her, but he’ll never wife her.

Why? Because she never turns down. She goes zero to 100 without thinking about how her words and actions can devastate her relationship. She is exhausting! One argument after the next, one complaint after the next, one temper tantrum after the next. She’s literally an inevitable heart attack waiting to happen.

Never date a fearful man.

It’s better to date a man who is eager and naive, not sure how things will turn out in the end, but he is certain he will give it all he has to make it work. The fears listed above are general fears mentally healthy men can overcome when they are with a strong, mentally healthy, trustworthy woman.

However, among all fears men have regarding love, fear of failure is a deal breaker!

Effort trumps knowledge and perceived security when it comes to successful relationships. Millennial love has it’s own unique challenges. My parents have been married for over 55 years and their generation had it’s own set of traditional, economic and societal challenges that they had to get through as a couple to sustain their marriage.

A huge mistake most millennials make is trying to duplicate their parents love. It’s important to recognize our generations unique challenges and re-frame a love that works for us in the present moment instead of trying to resurrect a template of love that is not compatible with today’s operating system.

The number one fear most men and women have today is the fear of unrequited love. We’re afraid to give it all we’ve got because we are obsessed with the outcome. Fear is always associated with outcomes. Courageous people never focused on outcomes, they focused on the big picture and the goal at hand because the outcome was depended on effort.

The outcome of a relationship or marriage is dependent on effort. Any man who speaks of fear of commitment has a deep rooted fear of failure in general.

People who are afraid to fail generally suck at relationships as well as every other endeavor they we’re afraid to take on in their lives because of fear of the outcome.

They’re life is lived off of paranoia and perfection. A fearful man is too safe. He is terrified by risks. He is a control freak and if he can’t guarantee the outcome of any situation he won’t get involved. At least not on a level of deep commitment. He will sleep with you and play house but he won’t marry you.

He needs distance between the two of you to maintain his illusion of control, perfectionism and safety so that he can stay tightly tucked into his cocoon.

Unfortunately, a man that is fearful and afraid to fail is not going to change if you love him harder. In fact, it will push him away even more. Overcoming fear of failure is as intense as overcoming drug addiction and it is something that a fearful man must do on his own.

Do you love a man who has a fear of failure?

Be his friend. Help him get help. Don’t be intimate with him. Just be there as a friend in the distance encouraging him to take small risks. Maybe he’ll overcome his fear, maybe he won’t, but your life keeps moving forward and you wait for a man who believes committing to you is a risk worth taking!

Because even if it doesn’t work out, you were worth the the memories and the lessons.

Nama’Slay – Every day!

By Janell HIhi Copyright@2017

 

 

 

Wholeness is Accomplished When Self-Division is Healed

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What divides you against yourself? Is it out-dated beliefs you picked up along your way throughout your journey in life from people who mis-read you?

Is it the naysayers who don’t see you the way you see you?

Is it those echoes of harsh critics who didn’t accept you, or the gifts you came here in this life to share?

Whatever it is that divides you within, and prevents you from being whole needs to be surrendered and released once in for all.

Believing in yourself is the only belief that counts. Believing you are worthy, capable, lovable, and deserving is the lose end that must be tied to create the wholesome oneness that we all wish to accomplish one day.

To begin your journey in wholeness. Get out a sheet of paper and write honestly and openly how you feel about yourself, and your capabilities in each category below.

When you are finished, write which beliefs were influenced by outside people, events or circumstances.

The objective is to identify what beliefs about yourself are formulated from you and those which were influenced by others. What beliefs are worth holding onto and which beliefs should you let go of?

  1. Love, relationships and intimacy:
  2. Money
  3. Career
  4. Self-worth
  5. Family
  6. Physical appearance
  7. Behaviors/attitudes

This exercise has helped myself and many of my clients take inventory of our beliefs and release what no longer serves us.

Nama-Slay – Everyday!

By Janell Hihi Copyright@2017

Moon in Cancer: How to Harness Intuitive Awareness

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It’s time to stop hitting the snooze button and wake up!

Drink your cosmic coffee and sit down… its about to get real! Real emotion because the moon is in sensitive Cancer!

On the eve of this moon in Cancer, I had epiphany. I don’t want to be in a relationship.

People who really want to be in relationships are in relationships. I had to swallow the hard truth that I like the feelings that relationships bring… and I’d like to capitalize off the bliss.

I want the privelege of being loved by someone But don’t want to take the risk of being vulnerable.

vulnerability is like oxygen to relationships. I don’t want it bad enough to give into vulnerability just yet. I’ve had amazing people attempt to get close to me and I curved all of them.

I push people away because my soul and my heart doesn’t want to be in a relationship. What do you need to accept regarding the emotional dark side of yourself?

Aug 18th and 19th the moon will be in Cancer before it goes back into Leo on August 21st the Day of the Total Eclipse!

Admitband accept your emotional dark side. I had an emotional epiphany on the eve of this miraculous moon in Cancer

Allow yourself to feel very deeply on these two divine days while the moon hangs out in Cancer.

Deep within our feelings lies hidden potential untapped that can change our view on spiritually forever.

Sit down, close your eyes and allow yourself to activate your intuition and uncover your own intentions and those of others.

Be minful of psychic ties that energetically cling to you and influence you to think, say, eat and do things that will fog your brain and take you off the trail to your destiny.

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So much will be uncovered this weekend. Anger will arise within us if we are not connected on a frequency that allows us to see the picture.

People will reveal their true motives to you energetically before you can logically make sense of it.

Aries and other fire signs… Sagittarius and Leo will get so much insight it from this energy it may make them feel out of touch with reality.

Aries it’s time to step up into your cardinal greatness. The world needs your genius. Use this weekend to remove blocks that hold you back.

Its time we all trust ourselves and our own potential. Stop looking for others to validate your greatness.

Rise up!

This may cause an internal war because this deep pychic knowing will conflict with what you want to be true or real, forcing you to break through illusions.

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Some people will choose to stay sleep and ignore their nagging intuition. You can activate your 6th sense and access to the divine.

However, astrology is free will and if your not ready to see things with your third eye astrology is free will and you can keep snoozing and stay unevolved at your own detriment.

Scorpio in Jupiter is approaching and if your not walking in spirit on a frequency that emits your true purpose, that phase will jolt you into awakening whether you like it or not!

Are you ready to release energetic blocks and rise to you divine power? Let me help! Feel in the form below and I will analyze your birth chart and give you 6 insights on energetic blocks your unique vibration emits and how to overcome the obstacles obscuring your divine path,

Fill in the form below and receive your report within 5 days by email.

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Astro therapy is an art I am passionate about. I don’t like to charge for specific services but instead allow you to donate no more than $5.00 in exchange for free reports that I generate for you on the path of your unique & divine journey. Thank you!

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Namaste

By Janell Hihi

 

Mercury Retrograde August 2017: The Unresolved Past of America is Re-emerging.

 

unresolvedThis article is another aspect of the previous Mercury Retrograde article that I posted a few days ago.

The unresolved shadow of America’s dark past is re-emerging forcing all of us to fix what was never resolved: Racism in America!

There is an imbalance of justice hanging over the surface of earth demanding to be acknowledged and resolved once and for all.

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America never paid her debt to those she enslaved, murdered, raped and tortured. In fact, America has just renamed her cruelty to African American by morphing it into discrimination, mass incarceration, gentrification, economic genocide and police brutality.

The scales remain unbalanced. Things are out of order on the Karmic bank ledger and since Mercury Retrograde is in meticulous Virgo, we are forced to look at our account and make what is negative, positive.

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Karma is knocking and ugly racist are emerging to show their true faces. I am grateful that they are bold enough to come out of the closet with their racism because to fix a problem we must acknowledge that it still exist.

Racism still exist. Systematically, socially, economically and in every nook and cranny of America.

What will we do now? Will we continue to try to fix it with old solutions that don’t work. Will we pay the descendants of slaves what they are worth? A huge debt is owed and the Universe will not let it go unpaid any longer. Time to rise up. What side are you on?

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There is no black or white side. There is only the right or the wrong side. America is past due and I want my due. Justice is in reparations and the creation of new laws to protect the vulnerable against racist.

The cruelty of the past persist but will you continue to resist that this race issue, and the debt owed to those whose ancestors were enslaved, must be paid?!

By Janell Hihi @copyright2017

13 Signs You’re Fake Woke

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Tag someone who is fake woke!

The fake woke award for the month of July goes to Jay Z. Fact check his lyrics with raw data and you will see.

If you believe that you, or a loved one is suffering from being Fake Woke, please read the top 10 signs below. The first part of awakening is accepting that you’re asleep.

1.  You support Obama unquestionably, despite the fact that he set the black community back 30 years. Furthermore, you support politicians just because they are democrat or republican without reviewing their agenda, budgets, and policies for your community specifically. If you believe that everybody who is brown must be down, you are truly disillusioned.

2. You’re not involved in politics. You say things like, “I stay away from politics,” when in fact, politics is shaping your lifestyle and that of your children whether you make your voice heard or not. Just voting is not enough, researching who to vote for and demanding equality from politicians is what really counts. If you watch Keeping up with the Kardashians more than you read and watch the news, you ain’t woke son!

3. Your idea of a good wife is Black Chyna, Amber Rose or Kim Kardashian. Basically, your value system is based on purely on looks, the size of a woman’s ass or breast. Her character is meaningless to you because you lack character yourself. You like girls who have a lot of likes on social media. You idolize them just because other people do. You have no sense of authentic taste or preference in women. Everything you do and everyone you date is based on what’s trending.

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4. You believe changing your mindset and being more positive will magically make all the corruption in the world disappear. Positive thinking is powerful for self-improvement. However, at some point those positive thoughts need to turn into positive actions. By all means, think positive and be proactive. However, don’t act oblivious to corruption and systems set up to attack you regardless of how much you meditate, do yoga or chant Bhuddist prayers.

You still have an obligation to fight for equality and human rights. If you try to be so positive that if anyone comes to you with facts that may appear negative you label them as “A negative person” you are not woke! You are in a state of oblivion. Learn the difference. Woke people accept the yin and the yang, the sunshine and the rain.

5. You are Loyal to a fault to a religion, political party, or some other cult-like affiliation. Remaining objective, somewhat unattached and skeptical allows you to think critically regarding everything you encounter. Woke people are only committed to the truth, and they won’t ever put loyalty over what is just and what is right!

Fake woke people, deny, defend and stubbornly attack anyone who asks critical questions regarding any associations they are involved with. Vulnerable people who blindly follow institutions are fake woke. Real woke folks will stay open and observant and if they are involved in an association that they once thought was legit but turned out to be a fraud.

6. You never fact check. If you find yourself listening to unsolicited advice from doctors, professionals, co-workers, families and friends without doing research to check to see if it’s actually good advice, you’re fake woke! If you read a book and don’t do a simple Google search on the author, but take every piece of advice in the book to heart, you’re fake woke.

If you vote for a politician just because they are democrat or republican, without reviewing their policies and background thoroughly, you’re fake woke. If you listen to an album like Jay Z’s without fact checking lyrics that offer financial advice, you’re fake woke. If you buy food without reading the labels, carelessly putting anything in your body, you’re fake woke! If you don’t do the research, you are not enlightened enough to engage in critical thinking, fact checking and uncovering hidden truths.

7. You only read books when you are required to. If the only  time you find yourself reading a book is when it’s mandatory for a class or employer, you are fake woke! Reading is the vehicle to awakening. Regardless if it’s history, fiction or non-fiction, books elevate our lives by adding experiences from others to our psyche and understanding of the world. Spiritually awakened people typically keep books in rotation.

Reading a new book every other month or so. It is through books, they travel through time and space, connecting with a world from past, present and future perspectives with each new title they devour. If you don’t read books at all, your not woke. No exceptions!

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8. You are apolitical.  I can’t stress this enough! You just don’t do politics at all. You think you are above politics but politics is what dictates the quality of your life. You cannot be woke and ignore the political climate because being woke makes you more curious about politics, especially those affecting your community, race and economic class.

Being woke makes you aware. You start to gravitate towards everything that will enlighten you. Being aware of politics and understanding your important role in taking part in it to make a change is a sure sign you are wide awake. If you don’t even know who is running in local offices in your city, parish, community, etc., You have a long way to go before you can say you’re woke.

9. You are selling a product that requires you to act like you care about other’s well being. If you are in a multi level marketing company and selling super foods in a canister or a miracle weight loss smoothie, please take several seats. Before you started selling manufactured super foods, perhaps you should of did some research. Super foods can’t be created in a lab, they only grow on trees.

Furthermore, before you started promoting theses products you really never cared about other’s health, only that of your own. Not the collective. If you find yourself suddenly becoming passionate about health after you sign up as a distributor for an MLM company, you are indeed fake woke. Stop acting like you care when your just trying to make a quick commission.

10. Everything you post on social media is a meme/quote about being woke. Everything you post is way to deep. It’s not like it’s links to educational articles or current political events. It’s just fluffy quotes on positive thinking and meditation. It’s unrealistic and most people can’t relate to it because they are too busy dealing with real life, day to day bullshit.

And you wonder why you don’t get any likes and are frequently unfollowed. You’re annoying because you preach constantly about what people should, and should not be doing or thinking. Too bad people who know you in real life know that you are a walking, talking contradiction that doesn’t take your own advice. Every quote or meme you post has an agenda behind it. You’re either trying to get likes for ego gratification, trying to sell something, or trying to act woke.

11. You believe in individual success over collective success. You are all about the come up and trying to become a millionaire. You believe some people make it and others don’t depending on how hard they work. You never educate yourself on the politics behind what it takes to be successful. You are easily swayed by celebrities and billionaires telling you that you can be whoever you set your mind to without ever doing the research to see all the help they got along the way that aided them in acquiring their wealth. You don’t know what social capital means nor do you know how generational wealth and/or poverty affects your ability to succeed.

12. You have No Chill. EVERYTHING you do online and in person is humorless and extremely, cult like political or esoterically deep. When I say deep I mean the “deep end.” People are usually baffled by your post on social media, not inspired. You are too random and unconnected like a cult ring leader who just drank the Kool-aid. You can bullshit and post funny videos online sometimes, not just all extreme political and positive thinking bullshit non-stop on a continuous loop. Give yourself a break and stop being so damn serious! Online energy vampire!

13. You think everyone has the power to change their own life. No, they don’t!  Sometimes bad things happen to good people and life sucks and it’s not fair! Do you think vision boards will help starving kids in Africa magically manifest food? Thinking positive won’t change that. Being realistic will change that, along with the healing that takes place with time. Depression is real and so it politics. Creating positive change in our lives take work, not just magical thoughts.

13. You don’t watch the Breaking Brown Yvette Carnell Show. If you don’t know who Yvetter Carnell is, you fake woke. Okay, well, I may be promoting my favorite political show on YouTube but the knowledge you can learn on this show can and will change your life. If you’re not woke, you can get woke by watching this show. Please tune in every Monday and Wednesday at 9PM CST. Checkout Irami as well. Follow them on Twitter and Facebook. Watch the show and comment below and tell me how you were ENLIGHTENED.

14. You only eat organic food and you are faithful to your commitment to veganism. However, you drink alcohol every chance you get, pop pills and smoke cigarettes. You are a walking, talking contradiction.

Are you really woke? If not, it’s okay. It’s never too late to change! It takes more than meditation and vision boards. It takes action. By all means use your boards and meditation mats but do the work as well. DO THE WORK! There is no faith without ACTIONS.

You know a “fake woke” friend. Admit it, you thought about them and laughed the whole time you read this blog.

And you’re going to share this on your Facebook page just to see if they like the post and don’t know it’s targeting them!

By Janell Hihi Copyright@2017

Eating Healthy Requires Strategic Preparation.

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Go on a diet they said! Eat healthier foods, 80% of weight loss is what you eat.

Both statements are true. However, no one explains the logistics behind what it takes to implement a healthy lifestyle and diet.

Preparation is they key to success. Being honest with yourself about where you are lacking in regards to Preparation, creating shopping list and budgeting realistically is the first step to a successful weight loss plan.

We ruin our diets because of the lack of planning ahead.

Successful weight loss starts with the following steps:

1. Set weight loss goals: What is your pants size? How much do you weigh? Take your chest, waist and hip measurements. Write this down in your weight loss diary or on a chart to hang up in your home to keep you motivated.

Next, write your weight loss goals beside or underneath your current weight, pants size and measurements. How much weight do you want to lose? What is your desired pants size? What is your desired measurements?

Keep in mind losing 2-3 pounds a week is healthy weight loss. Calculate a realistic timeframe based on those numbers.

How long will it take to get to your desired weight or pants size?

Remember pants size is more important than weight. Water retention, PMS and other factors cause weight to fluctuate 5-8 pounds. If your dropping pants sizes you are losing weight.

Pay attention to how your pants fit instead of the numbers on the scale.

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2. Physical exam: Now that you have your goals in place, make an appointment with your doctor to get a physical.

Get the test taken during the first few days of your cycle (when you have your period), if possible .

Ask your doctor to check your B Vitamin levels, electrolyte levels, Thyroid hormone levels, cholesterol, blood sugar levels and Vitamin D levels.

If you’re a woman ask your doctor to test Vitamin D3, estrogen, progestine, thyroid, FSH and LH levels which are very important in determining the quality of your health. Tell your doctor what to do, more than likely they will tell you the test are unnecessary but remember you are not just a patient, you’re a customer who is paying them!

You can follow up on your blood test by using a home saliva testing kit from DiagnosTechs or Phamasan. Testing your hormone levels over a 30-day period via saliva provides far more accurate results than a blood test taken on a single day and it can help better pinpoint the exact problem.

All of the above can significantly effect weight loss results. If you have any deficiencies your doctor will prescribe vitamins to replenish deficits. If you have high blood sugar and high cholesterol- your new diet should address lowering those two numbers.

Test results will take a week or so. In the meantime start easing yourself into exercise by taking long walks outside or on the treadmill for at least an hour a day.

Assessing your test results:

Most hormone-related issues women deal with are the result of too low progesterone, too high estrogen levels and excess androgen. This is what is happening when you have PCOS, endometriosis, PMS, and problematic periods more generally.

Substitute sides like chips and fries with salads. Example have a burger and a side salad. Chicken with a side salad.

Stop drinking sugary drinks asap. No juice or soda. Ease yourself into better eating by doing this!

3. Plan your meals/prep. Before you go shopping, Are you doing Paleo? Low carb? Or just dropping calorie intake? And which supplements you need to take.

Plan 7 days of meals/snacks. I don’t recommend cheat days until after 35 days of starting a new diet.

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Meal Planning Flyer Download and print by clicking here.

Example: day 1. Breakfast, egg omelet with spinach, organic cheeses and veggies.

lunch: chicken breast with 4 cups of salad, low carb dressing.

snack: carrots with peanut butter.

Dinner: beef with broccoli and brown rice.

snack: 1/4 cup of nuts.

Meal planning helps you build your grocery list and budget. Never assume healthy eating is more expensive- it’s not!

However, it is more time consuming, but you need to charge that to the game. It comes with the territory.

Meal planning should include what recipes you want through the week: example what proteins, vegetables, fruits, and grains you need.

If your planning on eating salad everyday buy bulk salad and dressing.

Make sure you have tubawear to make grab and go meals/salads.

Example shopping list:

Proteins: Chicken breast and chicken legs. Turkey bacon, Salmon, ground turkey. Buy organic meat if you can!

Vegetables: Bulk lettuce and spinach. Carrots, onions, broccoli, cilantro, bell peppers and cauliflower and zucchini.

Fruit: Apples, berries, grapefruit and kiwi.

Grains: Brown rice and Almond flower healthy cereal and meal replacement bars.

Condiments: Hot sauce, fat free ranch, Italian dressing. Almond butter or peanut butter and say sauce.

Dairy: Almond milk and organic cheese.

Oils: Olive oil, vinegar, coconut oil ghee or butter.

Storage: tubawear, large glass jars with tops, lunch bag/sack, stainless steel water bottle, smoothie to go bottles, freezer bags, ziplock bags.

4. Find coupons and go shopping: Never forget your list. Spontaneous shopping can sabotage your diet. Try to eat a meal before shopping. I like to shop after dinner or after breakfast during the weekend.

5. Go home, and start prepping meals asap: Cook your proteins, sides and prepare salads and snacks for an entire 5 days! If your using plastic tubaware let food cool to room temp before putting it inside the containers.

6. Stack in the fridge/freezer in a easy and organizational way. Your fridge should be neat and well organized.

Freeze vegetables and fruits you won’t eat to save them from spoiling.

7. Grab and go should make dieting easier. Every 5 days prepare to spend a few hours meal prepping. Make it a priority and a habit.

8. Create a realistic workout plan. Workout according to your schedule. Workout 30 minutes weight training followed by 30 minutes cardio. Muscle speeds up metabolism, don’t just do cardio, do both.

Warm up with stretching before exercising.

Keep it simple at first. Jog/power walk or elliptical for first month. Just do weights on easy to use machines and dumbbells your first month. Then Graduate into push ups, pilates and planks later.

Then join a gym or get a trainer to advance your workouts after 6 weeks. Workout at least 5 days a week for one hour or longer.

Cheat days DON”T DO IT

Have a cheat meal not a cheat day. A cheat day implies you eat whatever you want all day. This can ruin your diet. However, a cheat meal is just cheating on one meal. You can choose whether you want to cheat on breakfast, lunch or dinner is your choice. You cannot cheat on all three meals!

Supplements: Should be based on what vitamin deficiencies you have based on your physical exam with your doctor. Try to eat food that have what you need before taking supplements.

If you are on birth control take B12 asap. Birth control depletes B12 which converts food to energy metabolism, which is why woman on birth control gain weight!

Apple cider vinegar

Flax seed and chia seed for Fiber

B12

B stress complex

Magnesiun

Milk thistle

Vitamin D3

omega 3

Co Q10

Calcium especially is you cannot eat dairy!

Probiotic – High quality.

Take your vitamins with meals. I take some during breakfast, others during lunch and the rest during dinner.

Preparation is just the beginning. I really hope this helps someone on their journey to losing weight and eating healthier.

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By Janell Hihi Copyright@2017