Narcissist will bring out the absolute worst qualities within their victims.
By constantly poking at their victims using overt and covert manipulative tactics, the victim will eventually react negatively in anger, rage and sometimes violence.
“Don’t push me cause I’m close to the edge…”
Narcissist desire to drive their victims to the edge only to push him off so they fall into that sunken place of chronic negatively, reactivity, and self-sabotage.
An effective way to determine if a relationship is healthy is to ask yourself if your partner brings out the best in you, or the worst in you?
I had a neighbor who was 9 months pregnant and living with her narcissitic boyfriend at the time. He inflicted so much mental and emotional abuse upon her that one argument they had, changed her life forever!
She lost control during an argument with the narcissist and it turned physical. She was so angry she lost sight of the fact that she was pregnant and endangered herself and her unborn child.
The narcissist left the house as she was trying to explain how his actions and harsh words hurt her. Instead of listening, he abruptly left the house, jumped in his car and sped off. Typically, she would let him leave and cry herself into a slumber. However, this time. She felt like she had enough!
She got in her car and proceeded to chase him down a residential street going 90mph in a 30 mph zone.
She hit a car and killed the driver. She went to prison for several years after be charged with vehicular manslaughter. This is why narcissistic abuse is so dangerous!
You cannot live with, sleep with, eat with, and spend all your time with a narcissist and not absorb their toxic energy and behavior.
There’s a saying that we are the average of the top 5 people that we spend the most time with.
Unfortunately, victims of narcissistic abuse begin to manifest anger, negativity, toxicity, irresponsibility and recklessness by simply being in proximity of a narcissist for long periods of time.
You are what you eat and you become who you sleep with. Most narcissistic abuse victims don’t become full fledge narcissist but they do start to exhibit highly negative qualities that they tried to overcome at one point in their life, but the narcissist conjures up and brings those qualities back to the surface.
For example, if you were once a cigarette smoker and had an unhealthy diet, being with a narcissist will make you want to go back to bad habits you overcame. You may begin eating unhealthy foods again, smoking cigarettes and neglecting your gym membership because the narcissist will stress you out to the point of depression and hopelessness.
Most victims of narcissistic abuse will cling to any form of comfort they can to cope with their abuse regardless of how unhealthy that source of comfort may be.
Depression takes individuals away from the hobbies and activities that once made them happy. From there on out, the victim of narcissistic abuse will begin to see their life spiral downward into hopelessness and despair.
The narcissist will mock your weaknesses. If they find a chink in your armor they will continually poke at it until you snap and lose control.
When the narcissist can provoke the victim into reacting angrily and emotionally, they begin to play the victim like a puppet on a string.
The narcissist wishes to strip the victim of their good qualities and virtues so that they can bring out the absolute worst in their partner. Once that is accomplished and the victim is an emotionally reactive, angry and out of control… the narcissist will begin a smear campaign painting his partner as the crazy villain while they play the victim role.
Don’t let it go that far. Get Out!
By Janell Hihi Copyright@2018