Unfortunately, society only emphasizes the size of the male ego which distracts from the fact that the female ego is equally inflated, if not more so.
The female ego exaggerates the power of sex. In other words, the ego puts too much emphasis on the quality of sex creating a false equivalency between love and sexual intimacy.
Beyonce’s hit song “Ego” actually praises attributes of the female ego. Often times, the male ego is criticized and looked down upon. Women who work very hard on their appearance confuse an over-emphasis on their looks with self-confidence. The truth is, self confidence is an attitude that eloquently expresses “I accept myself and I am enough as I am.”
Being incredibly physically attractive will draw men in however keeping them is accomplished by a mastery of mentalism.
Mature women understand that their looks is only one third of their total package.
However, all women, regardless of how overly identified they may be with their ego believe that their femininity and sexual prowess give them hypnotic power over a man in the longterm. Instead, the opposite effect occurs because men can see through the smoke screen and the more sexually expressive a women is at the very beginning of a relationship with a man, the more suspicious he will become of her intentions and overall character.
In the short-term seducing a man by engaging in sexual activity with him too soon may appear to have some minuscule affect on him. Unfortunately, the effect is like a sugar rush or a temporary high from a drug. Once he comes down from the high, a women’s so-called sexual power fades rather quickly.
Unfortunately, some women have sex with men too soon because their ego misleads them into thinking their sexual skills will lock down a man and keep him interested.
Regardless of how great the chemistry may be, women look at sex as a way to keep a man and men look at sex as a way to scratch an itch and keep it moving.
Women who are in their masculine energy see sex as a free-will, go with the flow, “If it feels right do it,” mentality instead of seeing herself as a prize to be earned.
The same women who preach they have a “Free will” to haves sex and see what happens next are the same women in my inbox crying because they were ghosted. In one instance they preach going with the flow and letting sex happen naturally without an agenda. In the other instance they get very angry, sad and depressed when they don’t get a call back from the guy they had sex with on the second date.
I noticed these women have hidden expectations that don’t come to the surface until their casual sex expeditions don’t end the way they secretly wanted them too. These women really want love but are too identified in their ego. Instead of having the confidence to be assertive and tell a man that they’re looking for a relationship, they act aloof and indifferent to the idea of having a relationship.
The ego creates passive, aggressive and erratic behavior patterns in women because the ego is the instigator in the fight between her heart and her mind.
The ego makes the women believe all she has to offer is her body and her body is therefore over emphasized in value. She believes once she “Puts it on him” he’ll be hooked on her forever. The audacity!
As if casual sex isn’t as easy for a man as it for a women in today’s society. For every “free will, go with the flow, ride or die chick” willingly participating in casual sex with no strings attached, there’s a women who is not identified with her ego who will make a man invest in her before she sleeps with him. This is the women he is secretly and eagerly pursing.
How do you know if you’re too identified with your ego?
- You hate to lose more than you love to win. Being ghosted hurts your ego more than it hurts your heart if you say to yourself things like “But the sex was so good I had him calling out my name, how could he ghost me?”
- You let compliments get to your head. If you find yourself extra giddy and happy when you receive a compliment from your crush it’s your ego receiving validation and gratification. If you’re blind-sighted to the games men play because you’re infatuated by his flattery you’ll fail to see his true intentions.
- You talk about yourself for 10 minutes before asking another how they are. An unwillingness to engage in a mutual conversation is the ego’s fight to be heard. If your partner know more about you than you know about them it’s not that their less willing to share. It’s that your unwilling to listen and ask inquisitive questions due to a preoccupation with yourself and your own thoughts and interests.
- You’re too defensive. If you easily feel attacked by other people it’s a sign of insecurity and an inflated ego. It’s easy to take it personally when people simply differ in opinion. Constructive criticism is more insulting than destructive criticism and you have a laundry list of excuses for all of your actions.
- You stopped learning. If you don’t read books because you think you already know everything, you’re too identified with your ego. Trying new things is nonsense to you and the only activities that interest you are superficial and material.
- A Sense of Entitlement. You think you’re more special than most people. Everyone is special in their own right but you believe that God gave you a better gift than everyone else. You’ve been anointed like a prophet therefore people should automatically see your worth and treat you like a queen because like Jesus, there’s just something powerful about you and you only!
- You can’t comprehend rejection. It takes women with huge egos forever to get over a break up. Why? Because they think they’re so special that no man in his right mind would ever leave them. If they see their ex with another women that they deem less attractive than them, they won’t be able to get over the fact that he “downgraded” not understanding that a women has much more than looks to offer a man. She is unable to comprehend that there are other great women in the world besides herself. Instead of focusing on her own life the women with an inflated ego obsessively compares herself to other women.
- You competes with everyone. The ego wants to compare itself with everyone both male and female. The comparison leads to competition. Women with big egos feel a need to appear better than everyone else. This is why she is intolerable to be around. She constantly needs attention to feed her ego and validation from others that she is as great as she believes herself to be.
Listen, you’re not Rihanna, Sex with you i s not amazing (Listen to that song) and it won’t show a man your value. He won’t get hooked on you because there’s good chemistry. Sex is good most of the time, but it’s best between two people who took the time to get to know each other and love each other.
So get your head out of your vagina and work on being his main course not just dessert.
By Janell Hihi @Copyright2018