The short answer is “Yes!”
Narcissist will stay with women who continually accept their abuse by denying it and making excuses for it.
As long as the narcissist is getting a steady source of quality narcissistic supply, he can maintain relationships that last decades.
The ideal victim who the narcissist will choose to be in long term relationship with must never question him, never criticize him and never, ever call out his false self.
Narcissist need their partners to help them maintain their grandiose sense of self by continually complementing them, obeying them and trusting their every word.
The minute you question, criticize or investigate shady behavior from your narcissistic partner is the moment you are disregarded as long term relationship material to the narcissist.
If you’re not robotic, overly optimistic, degradingly submissive and compliant, the relationship will last a few months to a year at the longest.
This doesn’t mean you’re not good relationship material.
This means you have a healthy level of self-esteem and self-respect. It means you leave the table when love and respect is no longer being served.
As long as you accept that it’s his way or the highway, you can maintain a long term relationship with a narcissist! He may even marry you due to your compliant and subservient behavior. As long as you can financially benefit him and you never question his intentions, you’re as good as gold and the relationship can last a lifetime!
A great way to gauge your level of self-esteem is how fast you are able to recognize narcissistic relationships and how fast you are able to leave them!
Never look at a relationship and assume because a couple was together 12 years, they must have a very strong bond. It’s safe to assume they’ve been through a lot together.
It’s important to remember when considering the longevity of narcissistic relationships that it’s the quality of the relationship not the quantity of the years the relationship lasts that should be considered.
Most narcissist never leave a good source of supply. Usually what happens is the codependent partner realizes they are in an abusive relationship and they finally gather the courage to leave the narcissist for good.
The narcissist will stay and play forever, if the victim allows them to. Narcissist favorite line to manipulate their victims to stay with them is:
“We’ve been together all these years, and we’ve been through so much, and you’re just gonna leave?”
The number of years you’re in a relationship is no reason to stay in that relationship. It’s the quality of those years that determines whether or not one should stay.
Ten years of being with a man in an off again and on again relationship is not ten years of love, loyalty and respect. Instead, it’s ten years of chaos, instability and inconsistency.
The length of time a man stays with a women does not determine how much he loves her. She could be a safe option, a convenience, a financial resource, or an opportunity for a better life.
She could also be a punching bag he can take out all his frustrations on because she is so lost and codependent, the fear of being alone is worse than being in an abusive relationship.
As long as you can live your life constantly being labeled a drama queen and accepting your narcissistic partner as the victim of your alleged paranoia, insecurity and jealousy… you will be able to maintain a long term relationship with a narcissist.
If you’re reading this because you left a narcissist before you could define the relationship as long-term, good for you!
If you’re reading this wondering how your narcissistic ex lover is now in a long term relationship with another women, remember it’s the women who determines how long she will tolerate narcissistic abuse.
Better her than you!
You’re worth is not determined by how long your relationships last. It’s determined by your ability to walk away from abusive and toxic relationships.
By Janell Hihi @Copyright 2018