What’s the Real Problem? Your Self-Esteem or The Narcissist?

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This question came to mind today while I read a post from a victim of narcissistic abuse in a private facebook group.

Since the narcissist isn’t putting a gun to your head forcing you to be in a relationship with them, why do victims often choose to stay?

Is the determining factor self-esteem?

Why is it that some women can walk away from a narcissist in a heartbeat at the first sign of mental, emotional or verbal abuse (Devaluation stage) but other women cannot?

The only plausible answer is self-esteem.

Women with high self-esteem easily find the courage to leave at the first signs of abuse. They usually don’t stick around waiting for things to change because their self-esteem reminds them that they can do better.

If your self-esteem is telling you that you can’t do any better than the narcissist, more than likely the real culprit is your lack of self-worth, not so much the narcissist’s abuse.

Afterall, there’s only so many times they should be allowed to manipulate us until we see the ugly truth of who they are and walk away once and for all.

Today, ask yourself what’s the real reason you stay trapped in a relationship with a narcissist?

Is it because YOU don’t believe YOU have the strength to walk away?

Is it because YOU don’t feel YOU can do any better?

Journal the answer and reflect on that. Feel free to comment below!

Remember…

“What really frightens and dismays us is not external events themselves, but the way in which we think about them. It is not people that disturb us, but our interpretation of their significance.”
― Epictetus

Self-esteem is determined by how we rate others significance to our existence. Are you putting the narcissist on a pedestal by exaggerating their significance in your life?

It seems as though victims of narcissistic abuse idealize the narcissist to justify why they continue to accept narcissistic abuse. Today, stop idealizing the narcissist and see them for who they are. More importantly, look in the mirror and see you for who you are. You deserve better!

Sincerely,

J. HIhi @Copyright 2019